Finding My Voice

~21~

//A/N//: honestly how the flipping heck have i not given up on this story yet? DeDiCaTiOn my ass. I really really really want to be done with this, but there's still so much to write. :((((((( also apologies if it's kinda cheeks, i'm tired so this is a filler chapter. 

cry for me <3  x  -  s

...

"No Jamie, that's Alex's part not yours!" Niall scolded. 

We have been rehearsing this part of the song over and over and over again for the past few days. Every single time there is always something that happens. Whether someone ends up singing too sharp or too flat, we sing the wrong parts, someone gets the harmonies wrong, or sometimes it's Niall wanting to change something. And believe me, he changes things a lot. 

By now everyone is getting frustrated and we only have two more rehearsals until it's the day of the live show. Actually, I'd say it's a mix of frustration and nerves. Alex and Anthony have been arguing like crazy, maybe because they're brothers maybe because of something else. They always walk away when they argue, which is smart and also very kind of them. Jamie, Claire, and I have just been tense. And Niall. Well, I think Niall is more of a nervous wreck than anything. You'd think he'd gotten used to this sort of pressure considering his background, but nope. I never thought I'd see the happy Irish fellow get this antsy. 

"I'm sorry, I just forgot the order! I'll do better, I promise." Jamie apologized. 

Niall looked at him with an apprehensive face. "Jamie, this is the third time you have messed up the order. I have even given you sheet music with highlighted parts of every time you need to open your mouth. Why aren't you using it?" 

Jamie looked shocked, "I don't know, I just assumed you would have wanted us to be off of the sheet music by now."

"Yeah, you're right I do. But seeing as you are incapable of that at the moment, I would really appreciate it if you'd use it to learn your parts. I know I'm being crazy lately and I don't mean to be rude, but this really needs to be an amazing performance. The thing is I know you guys are capable of doing fantastic, but it feels like you aren't working for it. And that is hard for me because I've been putting my all into this show, and it feels disrespectful when I don't see the same amount of effort from my team. I can't make you want it, but I sure as hell will try to make sure you know your parts. So please, use your color-coded sheet music." 

Niall looked at us with tired eyes as he finished. I honestly feel so bad for him. It's gotta suck, considering we're acting like trash and he's still got two other acts to worry about as well as the coach's song to sing. 

"Okay moving on," Niall changed the subject, "let's work on this part later, okay? How about we take a five minute break and then start at the beginning." He then walked away to talk to the band. 

We all shuffled over to the side of the room where we keep our water bottles. "Guys, we need to lock in." Claire said. "We can't keep making those simple mistakes, we're in the live shows for God's sake. Niall chose to keep us, so we need to prove to him that he made the right choice."

"I'm sorry guys, I'll do better I swear." Jamie said with a guilty look in his eyes. "I swear I will be studying this thing for hours." He said lifting up the color-coded paper. 

I patted him on the shoulder as Alex started talking. He's gotten better at speaking to us now, I think he's letting his walls down a little. 

"I'm sorry Anthony for being such an asshat. I know you're only looking out for me; I'll try my best not to invoke any arguments between us. I see now that it's causing some tension in the group."

Okay so we're doing that now. Probably for the best, I'll be honest. 

Jamie, Claire, and I were quiet just looking between the two. It felt like watching a tennis match to  be honest. 

Anthony sighed, "It's okay, I know you're going through a lot right now but I just wanted to help you. Trust me when I say that I've had experience in what's happening with you, so don't hesitate to ask for help instead of yelling at me, okay?" 

Alex nods at his brother before turning to look at the rest of us. "Jeez stop with all the staring. Jamie don't look at me like that, go study your fucking sheet music."

I laugh at that before sitting on the ground where my water bottle is. Anthony and Claire walk away from the group to talk, but I can hear snippets of what they're saying. 

"Is it still about her?" Claire asked.

Anthony nods, "Yeah, it's been a few weeks but he's still trying to forget about her. It's tough though, considering that she cheated on him."

"Oh, that's so sad. He'll get through this, he's strong."

"I know, I'm just scared of what might happen next. He gets very vulnerable when he's hurting and he usually just shuts off. I just want him to know that he doesn't have to go through this alone. I'm scared that it'll affect how he performs, I want him to be 100% because he deserves to be on this show. I don't want that bitch to take his chances away from him, especially after everything she's already done." Anthony says while taking a sip of water. 

Oh the poor guy. He just got cheated on and now he's dealing with the pressure of performing well on live television? I just want to give him a hug now. 

I look over at him to see him leaning against the wall looking at his phone with a frown. Before I can decide against it, I stand up and walk over to him. 

"Hey." I say.

It startles him as he looks up from his phone. "Hey?", He responds with a timid look in his eyes.

"Are you doing okay?" I ask him as I copy his pose against the wall.

"Uh yeah I'm doing fine, why?" He questions.

I shrug, "Just wanted to know how you were doing. I realized we don't talk much, and I want to get to know you more. I also wanted you to know that I'm here for you if you ever want someone to talk to." 

He nods slowly, "Okay. Thanks?"

I smile at him as Niall calls for us to come back. 

"Okay! Let's start from the top!"

...