Royal Frills

Home Sweet Home

The trip home was a long one. The one thing that I was happy about was that I was in a limousine and not a train where everyone would be looking at me. It shouldn't bother me that much that the institute was forced to be closed, as Dad told me that I would not be going back after the holidays. The institute was already dying anyhow as most parents withdrew their boys and even Miss Eva left. The newspapers were full of stories about how we were brainwashed, manipulated, humiliated, and even threatened to be sissy boys that acted like toddler girls. Anyone could see that this was wrong. Madam Criben should never have been around children, and yet she was allowed to do it for so many years. Someone powerful must have been protecting Madam Criben. I was worried about the boys at the institute. Did the institute damage them and ruin their lives? What about Niki? The institute was family and home for Niki. How would he deal with the closure?

My family was waiting for me as I came back to the palace. Well, my mom wasn't there, as she lived by herself after the divorce. Dad, Julia, and Granny gave me countless hugs and told me that it was nice that I was once again home. I don't think that I got as many hugs as I did then. Julia was very excited that I was home and could not stop talking about what things would be like now. I had to smile at Julia's excitement. She was happy that her older brother was back at home and would be staying. I got this feeling from Dad and Granny as well. They were pleased that I was back at the palace. Deep down, I knew that I would miss the friends I had at the institute, but I was also happy that I was once again reunited with my family.

Dad wanted to show me my bedroom. When I started at the institute, my mom changed my bedroom at home to a baby nursery because that was part of the training. Dad changed my bedroom. It was no longer a nursery; it wasn't a boy's room either. It was what Dad called a unisex room. The bed had a small horizontal bar like a toddler bed because Dad wanted me to feel safe when I slept. I suppose after sleeping in a crib for so long, I could see his point. There were boy toys and girl toys. I was delighted that the dollhouse was there. Dad even told me that there were boy clothes and girl clothes in my wardrobe, and I could choose what I wanted to wear. Dad was trying to fix the damage that the institute had done to me. At the same time, he was giving me a choice to decide my own identity.

Dad and Granny left. Julia was playing with my toys while I was trying to send Niki a text message. There was no answer. I have been trying to contact Niki since I left the institute, and I was worried that Niki was trying to avoid me. Then again, why would he? We are friends. I tried convincing myself that Niki was too busy with his grandmother. Niki must also have been sad and frustrated that the institute was closed. It was the place he loved the most.

Now I had a choice if I wanted to wear boy clothes or girl clothes. It was not a choice for me. When I tried being a boy at Niki's grandmother's house a few months ago, I realised that I was not like other boys. I was a sissy boy that liked dressing and acting like a girl. No one in my family was surprised that I wore summer dresses and let Julia put my hair in a ponytail or pigtails. Neither Dad nor Granny gave me disapproving looks. Granny even said that she respected me and that I wanted to express my feminine side, and she could accept that this was who I was as long as it was me that decided my identity. Julia was delighted that I was still girly. It helped that I was very small for my age, and this meant that Julia and I could play dress-up games, she could fix my hair, and she could loan my clothes. She thought my clothes were prettier than hers.

Dad was worried about the media and what was being said on social media. There were daily stories on how the institute treated me. Some commentators thought I was forced to like being girly and even have become dependent on diapers. The commentators would ask what would now happen to me. Did the institute destroy my mind and damage me so much that I would never be fit to be a king? I knew that the wise thing was to start acting and looking like a boy. I told Granny that I did not want to do what the media wanted me to do. I wanted to be the person that I felt I was, and it's people's problem if they cannot accept this, not my problem. The media was treating me like a victim, and I did not want to be a victim. Granny hugged me and told me I was only a victim if I allowed myself to be a victim. One thing for sure is that I would not be a victim.

You would think that when I came home and the Victorian Virtue Institute was closed, my life would move on and I could leave the institute behind me. My dad did his best by telling me that I decide my identity. Besides that, I did not get much peace. The media has stories about me being treated badly by the institute and my parents. Most of the stories were not true. Now the news was about the trial with Madam Criben. The news would not have covered it so much if I was not at the institute. The one interesting thing that I read was that Miss Eva was given immunity. It made me wonder if Miss Eva had something to do with the institute closing and Madam Criben being arrested.

I will be happy for who I am. I loved pretty dresses. I loved when my hair was in pigtails, ponytails, or braids. One of the things I loved was stockings and tights. I liked the way they look and feel. I was overall happy now as I was allowed to be who I wanted to be. I did not like all the media attention about the institute and me, and I tried not to think about what would happen to me in the future, such as what school I would be going to. What worried me was that Niki would not answer my messages. It made me think that somehow he was mad at me. Granny tried to comfort me by telling me that she heard that Niki's grandmother was very sick, so that must be the reason that Niki did not have time to contact me.

Dad started me on what he called "toilet training." He thought that acting and dressing like a girl was fine, but wearing nappies and using pacifiers seemed to be wrong for a boy my age. I sort of agreed with Dad. It would be nice if I could wear normal underwear again, especially if I were starting at a new school. So project toilet training started. I should tell you that it was not easy. Dad's answer was simply not to wear nappies and visit the toilet a lot. I also had some strange exercises to try and make my bladder stronger. It meant that I had a lot of accidents, and this was so embarrassing. I had no patience. I wanted to be toilet trained overnight. At least my family had patience.

I was so happy that I was home with Julia. Despite that not hearing from Niki was frustrating, Julia and I played a lot. Julia always loved dolls, so she would ask me if I wanted to play dolls with her. Before I went to the institute, I would destroy Julia's dolls. Now I played with them. It's like when we played with dolls, we were in another world. A world where everything was fair and only the drama that we caused.
Mom no longer lived in the palace, so Julia and I visited her. It was a bit strange when we visited her. She didn't ask how we were doing or how we were coping with the media attention. She complained about what it was like no longer having a royal title, and people did not treat her like a royal member. Mom complained about the allowance she got. I don't understand why, as it was as much as a dozen people earn in real life. The mom started talking about the closing of the institute and how disappointed she was. She thought it was best that Madam Criben should homeschool me and Julia. This confused me, as Madam Criben is probably the last person who should be around children. Besides this, the woman should be in prison by the time the holidays are over. Mom must have thought of this, as she told me that she wanted me to testify and support Madam Criben. I did not answer, but I do think it's a bit strange that Mom wanted me to testify and what she wanted me to say.

Both Julia and I were not smiling on the way home. We were disappointed that Mom was being her usual demanding self and thinking only about herself.

I was in a strange mood after we visited our mom. I was frustrated and angry. Mom seemed not to care how we were. She was just talking about herself. Mom told me how I should testify and how I should testify. Was she encouraging me to lie in court to make Madam Criben look good? You know it's not so easy being a child. It's not easy being a prince at times. It seems like everyone is looking at what I am doing. Everyone has a view on what I should think and how I should act. I want to decide for myself who and what makes me the happiest. Until now, I had Niki who would support me and someone that could cheer me up. I have tried to send him countless messages and contact him on social media. There was still no answer. It's like he became invisible.

Dad noticed that I was having difficulties. He told me that being a royal member is a blessing in many ways. We could help change the world for so many and be the voice for people who do not have a voice. Being a royal also has a bad side, as royals are often subjects of intense public scrutiny, and personal matters are public domain. This is especially hard for a child. Dad admitted that he was mad and nearly ashamed of me when I started wearing girly clothes. This has changed. Dad noticed how strong I was and that I had a very good heart. He praised me for the work I did at the children's hospital and that I was determined to be the person that I thought I was, despite the scrutiny that I was under. Dad did not care whether I was transgender or not. He admitted that I taught him a valuable lesson: it does not matter if a boy wears girl clothes or does girl activities. What matters is that I am a nice boy that makes the world a better place.

Dad promised me that my family would support me as much as they could. They would support me if I was transgender or not. What mattered to them was that I was happy. Dad told me that if I wanted to continue on the puberty blockers so I did not get the male hormones that would attack me during puberty, I would get them. If I needed someone to talk with, Dad would find a professional. The queen (my grandmother) was doing her best to persuade the media to give me some space to be a child. Dad also told me that it was me who decided if I would testify in the Madam Criben court case. If I did choose to testify, it would be me who would decide what I would say. I had tears in my eyes as Dad said all of this and hugged him and let him know how much I loved him.

Mom did not have the same approach as Dad, but I still loved her as she was my mom. This was hard at times. The latest was a media revelation that Mom was one of the secret founders of the Victorian Virtue Institute. The institute had a secret board that ran the place, and Mom was the chairwoman of the board. Mom funded the school financially, and she knew every detail of what was happening at the institute. Mom knew about the subliminal messages, the threats, and the forcing of boys to be sisters. The media asked why a mother would send her own son to an institute where there was so much abuse towards boys. I was so mad at mom. This news made me think that she did not love me. I felt as if I was a pawn in her desire to sissify the boys of the nation. What better way to do this than to show the nation that a prince can even be a sissy?

Granny and Dad did not know how to react to this news. Granny's reaction was just that the revelations of Mom's involvement in the institute explained a lot. Granny also wanted Dad to seek full custody of Julia and me. Dad was more worried about what this news was doing to Julia and me, as he wanted us to have a relationship with our mother. Dad was afraid that mom's involvement would mean mom could be investigated and, who knows, even be sentenced to prison. This would be bad for the Royal family, but much worse for Julia and me.

Dad did show me a surprise. He changed an old stuffy room into an art room for Julia and me. Dad even asked Julian to tutor Julia and me in art. Julia was delighted that we would be doing art together. We spent a lot of time in the art room. Granny even sometimes joined us. I didn't know that Granny could even paint, but I suppose old people can do a lot of things. Art gave me a chance to escape the world and hide in my own world. Now I could be creative with my sister and granny. We planned that the art exhibition I planned would not only have art from Granny and Julia. This was so exciting!


I did miss Niki and was worried why he was not answering me. Julia did her best to try and distract me. At times her plans made me think more about Niki, like when she wanted to do a magical forest. It reminded me of the one Niki had. Still, we did it in a wooded area near the palace. It did look good with fairy lights and a cosy tent, as well as colourful strings hanging from trees and chiming bells. We even put out a rocking horse and some unicorn stuffies. I know some adults may think our new magical forest looked foolish, but for us, it was a magical place.

While we rested in the tent, Julia asked me what we should do about Mom. We were supposed to visit Mom in a few days. I told Julia that I did not want to visit Mom. She did not care about me. Mom was using me for her own ambitions. She did not want me to be a boy but sent me to an institute to sissify me. Mom supported the institute, which ruined so many boy's lives and maybe even mine. Mom even wanted to use me as a pawn to testify in favour of Madam Criben. This was not just so, Madam Criben; it was also to save mom's skin as she could be facing an investigation. Mom did not respect me, and I don't know if she loved me. I did not want to visit us.

Dad told me that I would be starting at a new school. He did not want to send me to the same school that he was sent to when he was my age. It was a posh boarding school. Dad thought that I needed to be around my family, so I would be sent to day school for boys and girls. I would have to wear the boy's uniform. I smiled at Dad and nodded, but inside I was in turmoil. This meant I would be in public again, and could I remember how to be a boy?

To be continued... Stay tuned for the final chapter of "Royal Frills."