My Diary

The fuck???

I have a question for people before I post any names or pictures just in case cause I'm rattled up and confused. I'm 18 and I met with a 31 year old I met on bumble tonight because I was crying and he told me he would take me for a drive to cheer me up. Yes I know it's stupid of me. It's a bad week for my mental health as I have ptsd and the anniversary of something horrible that happened in my life is coming up. He knew all of this. At first we were just chatting and stuff and then I made a joke about my chest being handy to get the attention of celebs in a hypothetical scenario because I told him I had a crush on Gerard Way. Then he grabbed my chest without asking me and I just froze. I put my hand up over his in a "wtf no get off me" way but I couldn't find the words to actually say that. Then he drove down a dirt road and kept asking if I was okay but I was frozen so all I could say was "Mhm" cause I'm in this dudes truck on a dirt road and I'm scared to say no atp. Then he parked and started sucking me there.... Again, without asking. Then he asked me to touch him and I said no and then he decided that was cue to take me home. Coming off the dirt road he was worried there was a cop parked ahead and he asked if they were following so I said "why would they be?" And he said "idk". Then the whole ride home he kept saying the F word and letting out frustrated sighs. Then he said he's sorry and feels like he crossed a line and I didn't wanna tell him outright that I didn't like it so I just said it's fine. I could tell he was anxious the whole way home. Now I'm home writing this because I don't know if what tf just happened was SA, if I should post him, etc..

I have no desire to report him to the police as I have dealt with things like this before and it's just a very long process that only adds extra stress and trauma. Does this count as SA? Or am I crazy? Like idk what do. I'm crying.

Should i stray away from my boyfriend? We were cuddling & i asked whats on his mind...randomly he said "killing people" then turned towards me and giggled

(he does that whenever hes being naughty). I asked my boyfriend to explain himself & he said he's thinking about self defence "if a guy f*!?'s with him". I said well, what would you do? My boyfriend explained he'd "chop them up". I was like huh?? 🤔 boyfriend said he would "chop their head off". We were just cuddling in the dark and that came outta nowhere. Boyfriend specified he'd never murder women just men. I asked if he's thought about killing people before we met, he said "yeah" & nodded his head. I probably (think) his past fantasies of murder were self defence too??

Now my boyfriend works in a sketchier area where people got murdered in broad daylight, so hes seen alot. My boyfriends had small incidents with crackheads bugging him but nothing serious. Maybe thats why he's thought about killing guys for self-defence, as benefit of doubt? 

Anonymous member · 

So I have a weird problem. I have this celebrity who I follow on social media accounts. He is quite a bit younger than me. I have felt a strong pull towards him (like I'm supposed to be with him) since I first started seeing him on TikTok. I usually don't feel that way about people. I am single if that matters, but here is the question...how do I get rid of these feelings? What do I do? This guy doesn't even know I exist.... man, I need a life.

I've never seen anything like this: 

Can you put an older child (4) up for adoption as eaily as you can put a baby up for adoption? I'm not equipped to care for my child. I can't afford them and I can't show them proper love. No I shouldn't have had a kid. I see the comments coming. I didn't want kids. This was a grape situation and everyone around me convinced me to keep the baby and said I would have motherly instincts and it would be a blessing. But I've never once felt a maternal connection to this kid and they deserve better than to live with with someone who resents them for reasons beyond their understanding.

Hi guys

I have incredible news

Ok, as you may know, I saw a post from Chase Holfelder so I commented: "I can't believe you're a Dad congratulations!!!!" 

He literally replied back

I wish I was fucking joking but I have proof. He said: "thanks! It's been over 9 years now haha"

That means that he knocked someone up in 2015 and had the baby in 2024

I was screaming

I met Paulie Feva from K104.7 at a dog adoption event, I was supposed to get a picture with him but he has already left. I also met one of those Saturday Night Life guys and his wife and 2 songs and ummm it was very odd because the boys were throwing pillows, took their shoes and socks off, wrestling. Well, guess not all celebrities kids are behaved. I can't find his name but the wife does flipping houses. Something with a T name and I don't know if he write Queens of Chess or produced it but he did it. Then I get the author Jasinda Wilder to comment and reply back to me in dms! I got Emily_r_king yesterday but I never heard any of her books then Redleather. I seriously can't believe this.