𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐄

𝟎𝟎𝟗

True to Silas's words, you ended up seeing your father when night arrived. You were already in your pajamas, and your mother had been in the midst of making tea. She liked to use the tea leaves from her garden, and the tea never disappointed. It was always the right temperature (though it could be too hot at times) and had an aroma that was both sweet and alluring. After drinking the tea, you would always have a peaceful sleep.

And now that steaming cup of tea lay forgotten as your father strode in, walking briskly past you and instead making a beeline for the couch in the corner. He sank into it, exhaling a large sigh. You wanted to call out to him, but found yourself faltering.

"It took especially long this time, huh?" Your mother glanced at him as she busied herself with the dishes. The steady stream of water from the tap muffled your father's reply, but from the tension between the two of them, you could sense that a storm — an argument — was imminent. You decided to drink your tea fast so that you would be able to slink away from the argument, but the heavens had other plans. Instead, you ended up scorching your tongue and wincing at the sharp pain.

"I follow the Emperor's orders." Your father said wearily. Strangely enough, there was no bite to his tone, and only tiredness. "Leave me be."

"Makes me wonder why you even took me as a wife when you were simply going to be absent half the time," your mother murmured. She was angry, maybe even furious. Unlike your father's tone which was milder than usual, hers held more viciousness. "Look, Ralph, I get this whole loyalty to the Emperor thing, but you're simply ignoring your child. You can ignore me, but not your own son!"

"You're pent up because of what they're saying about you in the Palace," your father stated plainly. "You're inflicting your anger on me. I've disappeared before, Sarah — Emperor's orders — and yet you've never kicked up such a fuss before."

"No!" Your mother threw the plate into the sink too harshly, and it splintered — "I'm angry because I've had enough!"

The sound of the plates shattering gave you goosebumps. You tried to stick your tongue out in front of the mirror to see how red it had gotten, but you ended up looking funny. At least, that gave you the much needed mirth to relax.

"It's an important time for the Emperor," your father sighed. "I have to be there."

"It's always about the Emperor."

"You knew that when you married me."

"I did," your mother jutted her chin out stubbornly. "But this is madness."

"For heaven's sake — the Emperor fucking loathes my guts! Can't you tell?"

"No — you loathe his guts. He doesn't hate you. You know very well what the Emperor thinks of you. You hate him, and you disguise those feelings of hatred as inferiority. And the hate that has sprung up is new, mind you. You two were friends. And after all that happened, you're trying to convince yourself that your hatred is simply inferiority. Perhaps yes, there's a sliver of truth that you feel worthless with the Emperor around — but face it, Ralph. You simply hate him, and you don't like admitting that to yourself. Jealousy is a easier pill to swallow than hatred."