"Love. The reason I dislike that word is that it means too much for me, far more than you can understand."
- Anna Karenina
Ever since she was a child, she knew that she felt more at ease concentrating on her inner thoughts and ideas, rather than on what was happening externally. She loves routine and is committed to her comfort. There's no problem with her eating the same meal over and over, or wearing the same outfit for a week straight. She's patient and steady and prefers things to be consistent than chaotically good but over the course of the past few weeks, She did nothing but think of the younger woman who never left her mind, whether she was awake or asleep
She is just lucky because, in some way, Orm understands her need to review and prioritize her upcoming graduation by supporting her all throughout, even bringing her food, massaging her temples when it becomes overwhelming, or just sitting quietly beside her.
She guesses it's true when her mother stated that she tends to spend time discovering things she loves and when she does, she'll do it in extreme. And nothing could describe the past few weeks better than that. She felt like they can absolutely go on forever like a tireless machine, like a hand built truck that would never break down. They were never satiated.
That's the biggest problem that she's encountering right now. She tried to avoid it by pushing away the thought of her impending departure, by spending her time burrowing herself in books or between the legs of Orm, but when the letter from the Kalasin District Attorney's office arrived along with her plane ticket two weeks earlier than she expected, citing an urgent need for additional manpower, it felt like reality came crashing down on her. She has many more plans for her and Orm. They haven't even stepped out of the comfort of her four walls; they haven't even had a proper date night, like dining out, and not just eat the Indomie noodles available in her house. She wanted to take her out to the movies, to treat her like the princess that she is..
"Is it true?" Orm asked her breathlessly. She caught her coming out of the Library, arms full of borrowed books because she intended to review the whole night, not expecting to see the girl that she likes and the smile she had when she saw her gradually faded upon realizing what the girl was saying.
"Is it true that you're leaving?"
She avoided looking at Orm, the simple dream that she wanted for the two of them comes to a halt and she took a deep breath before speaking. "I am..You know it already.."
