The Beckett House

Chapter 14: A Dead Bitch

Rome's Point of View:

I took a deep sigh and walked up to my room. I have alot of thinking to do. With each step I took my legs got a little heavier until I finally reached my bed and threw myself upon it exhausted.

I lost my cool. I lost my fucking cool, I told myself over and over again. I have a fourteen year old kid in the corner like a six year old. What the fuck is wrong with me. No wonder he said Allan was better in that moment I was Allan. The very thought of turning into that monster sent chills down my body. I knew I had to apologize but I also knew looking at him would just make me mad all over again. I had to gain my composure.

Decker's Point of View:

"Hey Ruth, would you mind giving me and Kaz a minute? Maybe take Indy with you?"

Ruth gave a sympathetic smille and motioned for Indy to follow her outside. When the door closed behind them I went and sat against the wall where Kaz was standing.

I didn't say anything I just studied his face. Kaz had always been easy to read, he wouldn't always say how he was feeling but his eyes would. In this moment they were still. It was as if he was trying to see through the wall. His pupils were small and I could see the subtle movement of his jaw which told me he was grinding his teeth. His face held all of these angry expressions and yet he had tears dripping off his chin.

"Kaz?" I needed him to snap out of it. If you let Kaz sit in his thoughts for to long it never ended good.

"Kaz, you got to talk to me. What's going through that head of yours?" His gaze darted toward me. I expected his pupils to dilate and return to normal but they stayed cold and heartless.

(Kaz) - "Go away Decker."

"Come on now Kaz, that isn't fair."

(Kaz) - "You have no right to talk to me about fairness right now. Go away." And just like that his eyes went back to staring at the wall. There was only one person left to call; Axel.

I stood up, and went to the backyard. I opened up my phone and called my brother. Rome and Axel were close I knew he could get through to him. Kaz and Axel on the other hand, they didn't really get along but if he wasn't going to talk to me I knew he wouldn't talk to Rome.

I gave a quick rundown of what had just transpired and after a bit of convincing I got him to come home. If he was doing something important I probably would have just waited it out but I knew he was probably just out partying with some girls.

I went back to the living room and gave it one last shot hoping, praying he would talk to me but this time he didn't even look at me.

Axel's Point of View:

When I walked through the front door I expected to see chaos instead Decker, his girl, and Indy were all sitting on the couch watching some stupid show.

"Where's the kid?" I asked seeing as he wasn't in the corner like Decker had told me.

(Decker) - "Went up to his room, same with Rome. I really don't know what happened Axel. I mean he got spanked and all but I don't see them both being this upset about that. I can see why Kaz was upset that it was in front of everyone but we've all seen him get it a time or two, nothing new. And I know Rome was hurt by his comment but somethings just off with them."

I tussled Indy Rose's hair and walked up the stairs. I walked over to Kaz's door and knocked. When I heard a faint reply I opened the door.

"Alright get to talking, what happened?"

(Kaz) - "Why do you care? So you can take Rome's side? Don't say you won't you always do. It's okay you ain't gotta lie I know."

For the first time in my life I couldn't read him. His voice was hurt but yet he sat there guarded and angry.

"Come on Kaz, I know I haven't been the best brother to you. Hell I haven't even been a good one but something is bothering you and I want to fix it. I know it's not just because you got a spanking, I know Rome he wouldn't go too far, he probably went easier on you than I would've you know that so tell me whats going on."

(Kaz) - "I, I got mad." He hesitated, thinking of his next choice in words carefully. "I told him that I wanted Dad over him. I know it was wrong and I regret it but Axel I've never seen him so mad. He scared me. He told me that I wouldn't be able to come back and that he'd beat the shit out of me. I said what I did out of anger in the heat of the moment. But, but he thought about his words before saying them." Kaz paused again.  "He meant everything he said."

"Kaz, I wasn't there but I doubt he meant it. I think he was just hurt, he doesn't take being hurt well. I'll go talk to him but until then you're going to stay in here and fix that attitude of yours. You can't be angry at the world because of one person."

(Kaz) - "I just don't get it, why do you always choose him? What did I do? Why am I always the last pick? You would choose Rome. Rome would choose Indy. Decker would choose you. And Indy don't count because she would choose everyone. The only person in this family who picks me first is dad when he wants to wail on someone."

I didn't know what to say, he had a point but still. It wasn't completely true, was it?

(Kaz) - "I didn't mean that, forget I said anything, I'm sorry. Just go talk to Rome, I'm sorry for being such a bother."

"You're not a bother, when I get done with him I'll come back and we can talk."

I didn't know what to say so I just left, I've never been good with coddling kids their isn't a nurturing bone in my body. I was never meant to have any and yet here I am taking care of three sometimes four with Rome.

I enter our bedroom to find Rome laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling deep in thought.

"Alright what is going on. Why did you snap like that?"

(Rome) - "Same reason you've been out partying all week."

"Give me a break, can I not just let loose every now and then? It has nothing to do with mom's death-aversiry coming up."

"It is, and you just proved it by saying that. I admit it I messed up but something about being told dad is better than me and the day I got promoted to honorary father coming up just made me snap. I'll fix it, it's not that big of a deal just give me a minute."

"Look I know it's hard, it's hard on all of us but just try to think of mom before her..." I couldn't bring myself to say it. It had never been spoken aloud sure in our heads but the word suicide in correlation with mom had never been said. "Anyways, you know what I mean. Just don't rub your resentment of her off on the little ones they don't need that image of her."

"I know damn it! I know they can't know! Now for once in our fucking lives can we act like a functional family? Charlie is coming over and the last thing I need is everyone in their feelings about a dead bitch!" That was my tipping point. I walked over to where he was still laying on the bed and socked him in the eye and then again a couple of times in his stomach.

"Don't you ever call mom a bitch again. I know you didn't mean it but next time fucking think. Now stop throwing a pitty party and go apologize to Kaz."

And that was it. He got up walked out and spent an hour or so talking to Kaz. When they walked out they were all smiles sure I don't know what was said but that didn't matter. The last thing this family needs is to drift apart especially in the next couple of days when all of our wounds caused by moms passing are ripped back open after all these years.