Baku Takes On Beacon Remastered (Game of the Year Edition)

Student Body President

Saturday had rolled around, which meant a day to relax after a tough week of rigorous coursework and training, and a day for our four bullshitters to bullshit to their fullest potential.

Tobi and Bank Bill seem to have gotten an early start, as the other two came to find they were not within the dorms that morning.

Baku: Where tf they at?

Lil Broomstick: Idk brodie maybe they're hiding here somewhere

Baku: You think they playing hide n seek in this bitch?

Lil Broomstick: Could be

Just then there was a knock on the door, and it was opened to reveal three of the four members of RWBY, with the white haired heiress absent at the moment.

Ruby: Hey, guys!

Baku: Too early for this bullshit

Ruby: Are you two gonna come to the amphitheater?

Lil Broomstick: Why would we do that?

Blake: Today's the student body president debate.

Baku: Fuck I care for?

Yang: Well, you should, considering the other two dudes on your team are in it.

Baku: What???

Ruby: Yeah, come on! Weiss is in it too, should be fun!

Once they got to the amphitheater, they found it was full of students and some staff members, with the stage indeed being occupied by Weiss, Tobi, Bank Bill, and Cardin as the apparent candidates for student body president, all with podiums in front of them.

Baku: Aw hell nah

Bank Bill: Back when I was marchin for civil rights-

Tobi: No you weren't

Bank Bill: Yall see that??? Civil rights denier!! This bitch racist

Tobi: Racist? Oh I'll take that. Double U. That's a Dub

Bank Bill: Damn. Now he got the racist vote

Weiss: Can we please get back to the subject at hand?

Bank Bill: Fuck up Elsa ain't nobody voting for you anyways

Tobi: You can relate

Bank Bill: Who tf gonna cast their vote for sharingan

Tobi: Now that's racist

Bank Bill: Listen these other three mfs aren't strong enough to lead this school. I pistol whipped all three of them in a convenience store last week

Tobi: Cap

Weiss: I- what? We haven't even known each other for a week!

Cardin: Yeah, you made that up!

Bank Bill: I know you ain't talkin over there this whole auditorium saw you get bitched by an unemployed mf with maxed out credit cards

Baku: He talkin bout me

Bank Bill: The only reason you here is cuz they had a fourth podium

Tobi: Damn

Cardin: I'm more qualified than you two idiots! You've only been here for a week!

Bank Bill: You think anybody give a fuck bout qualificaaaaaations?

Tobi: Clearly not if you're stupid ass is up here

Bank Bill: Get a G before you try talkin to me BOZO

Tobi: A thousand? I got that

Bank Bill: Nah a grillion

Tobi: Yaint got no damn grillion I saw you stealin keyboards from the library

Bank Bill: Act broke to stay rich you wouldn't understand

While the two bullshitters on stage continued to go back and forth about nonsensical shit that didn't progress the debate at all, Baku realized the silver haired headmaster was standing beside him, silently observing.

Baku: Bruh you gon let them stay up there rapping that bull?

Ozpin: I did say this debate was an open forum discussion, Mister Baku. I cannot, in good faith, impede on it.

Baku: How tf did you get this job??

Back on the stage, the 'debate' that was primarily between Tobi and Bank Bill raged on.

Bank Bill: Yall vote for me and everybody gon get they money up

Tobi: How tf are you gonna do that?

Bank Bill: Shit Imma put them on the method

Tobi: What method?

Bank Bill: We're gonna go around knocking on doors and tellin them bitches that they owe tax money and collect the shit for ourselves

Tobi: Bitch who tf do you think you are? The IRS???

Bank Bill: Nah this the IBS. Internal BREAD Service

Weiss: Oh, for the love of-- Headmaster Ozpin! Please give us a topic to follow, some sort of structure!

Ozpin: Hmm, very well. How about improving quality of life for students?

Weiss: Perfect, thank you! Okay, to improve student quality of life, I would-

Bank Bill: Don't nobody give a fuck about these bitch ass students

Weiss: What?! Why are you up here then?!

Bank Bill: Imma keep it 💯 I'm just here to collect that check once I get into office

Ozpin:...I regret to inform you, Mister Bill, that there will be no 'check' awaiting you if you win.

Bank Bill: Hell nah Im dropping out the race then

And like that, the Student Body Presidential race was down to three candidates, as Bank Bill joined the other two bullshitters.

Bank Bill: They lucky that shit is unpaid I would've really been runnin shit

Baku: Bitch you are the worst candidate I've seen in my life. Yaint even had a platform

Bank Bill: I didn't need one they already gave us the stage bruh

Baku: You're imbecilic

Bank Bill: Fuck does that even mean

Tobi: All I know is if yall vote for me I'll really be changin shit around here. I'll make it so anybody is liable for an ass whooping. Students, teachers, the damn headmaster. Anybody can get it

Ozpin: I should also mention that you won't have the power to make significant changes around Beacon, there are guidelines to adhere to and any desired change will have to be approved by a committee of higher ups including Glynda and I.

Tobi: Wait I'd be gettin no power AND the slave wage? Yeah nvm y'all got it

Now down to two candidates.

Cardin: I'm out too, I was just in it for the power anyways.

Nevermind then.

Ozpin: Huh. Well, since Miss Schnee is now running unopposed, she is the new student body president by default.

Ruby: Yay, Weiss!

Weiss:...What just happened...?