Love Rivals: The Day I Saw Your Tears

33. Heart Cries Blood, Not Tears

(Sarah's Pov)

As soon as we stepped inside the house, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I turned to my dad and blurted, "I told you not to go there! But you didn’t listen!"

Mom, hearing the commotion, came over and asked, "What’s going on? What happened?"

Dad let out a heavy sigh and explained, "We went to the hotel to buy sweets and ran into Ryan and his father. Ryan’s dad made some snide remarks, essentially embarrassing us."

His disappointment was palpable as he turned to me and continued in a frustrated tone, "This is all because of you. If you had passed the medical exam, I wouldn’t have had to endure that embarrassment. Everything was going well -- what went wrong in the finals? Why did you fail? Why didn’t you study hard enough? We even encouraged you to take a year off to prepare for medical exams, and yet you just gave up. Why?"

I had so many answers running through my mind, but my lips stayed tightly sealed. I watched as Dad, still upset, turned and walked to his room. Mom didn’t say a word either; she just silently made her way to the kitchen.

I felt the sting of their disappointment as I headed to my own room and shut the door behind me. The moment I was alone, the tears I had been holding back started to fall, uncontrollable.

Who could I blame for this? No one but myself. The weight of my choices, my failures, pressed down on me, making it hard to breathe. I buried my face in my hands, wishing I could turn back time and fix everything.

Heartbroken and overwhelmed with guilt, I grabbed my notes and tried to dive into studying, hoping it would distract me from everything. But as soon as I started working on the first problem, my hand began to shake. I stared at the page, feeling disconnected, like my brain had just shut off.

Frustrated, I muttered to myself, "It’s simple… why can’t I solve this?" My hand hovered over the page, frozen. What is happening to me?

Wiping away a tear, I flipped to the solution, and there it was -- clear as day. "I should know this," I whispered, shaking my head. "I’ve solved this a hundred times before."

I tried moving on to another question, but my mind was completely blank. My hand wouldn’t move. Desperate, I checked the solution again, but the frustration only grew. "I did this earlier! How could I forget the solution?"

I flipped through a few more pages, attempting more problems, but the same thing happened each time. No answers. No thoughts. Just a growing sense of panic and failure. "Why? Why can’t I solve a single problem?" I whispered, my voice cracking under the weight of frustration. "Why did this happen to me? Why am I so afraid of this? Why did I let this happen?"

My hands gripped the pen tightly, but no matter how hard I tried, the answers wouldn’t come. "My maths used to be perfect. English, flawless. I used to help everyone in class. The teachers trusted me with the toughest problems." I let out a bitter laugh through my tears. "And now look at me. What happened to me?"

I clutched my pillow and buried my face into it, letting out a muffled scream of frustration and despair. "Why am I like this now?" I sobbed, tears streaming down my face. "What do I do now? I’ve ruined everything."

I sobbed harder, blaming myself for everything -- every failure, every shattered dream. It felt like I had let my family down, let myself down. I was drowning in guilt, completely consumed by it. The dreams my parents had for me felt unreachable now, and the pressure of living up to their expectations weighed heavier than ever.

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Days flew by, and before I knew it, Navratri had arrived.

Mom, with her usual nagging tone, called out, "What are you planning to wear? I told you weeks ago to buy something new!"

I shrugged, "Shriya has a ton of new dresses. I’ll just grab one from her wardrobe."

After taking a shower, I walked over to Shriya's room and pulled out a royal blue gown from her collection. But before I could even admire it, Shriya snatched it from my hand, tossing it back into the wardrobe.

With a playful smirk, she grabbed an elegant ocean blue lehenga and handed it to me. "This will suit you better," she said, smiling. "It’s brand new. I’ve only worn it once."