Love Rivals: The Day I Saw Your Tears

49. I Can't Feel Anything With Her

Lately, it's been difficult to catch a glimpse of Sarah. She had stopped delivering coffee to the hospital, leaving me with only fleeting glimpses of her through the cafe window. That evening, I found myself at the cafe with Nitya, as she wanted some fresh air.

As I looked out, I noticed Sarah coincidentally running into Vicky near the restaurant where we were. I could tell he was offering to drop her off, but she politely declined. For a brief moment, a wave of relief washed over me.

Nitya, receiving an urgent call, excused herself and stepped away from our table. In that moment, I completely forgot to offer Nitya a ride home. Perhaps, deep down, I wished for her to leave quickly, to avoid any uncomfortable interactions.

I paid the bill and stepped outside, ready to head home. Just as I was about to get into my car, I spotted Sarah walking by.

I quickly drove up and pulled up alongside her, sliding down the window. "Hey, come in. I can give you a ride."

To my surprise, she kept walking, ignoring me completely. Frustrated, I got out of the car and caught up to her.

"Sarah, please let me drop you off. It's getting dark out," I urged.

She halted, turning to face me with a sharp gaze. "Did I ask for your help?"

I replied, "No, but I'm genuinely impressed that you turned down Vicky's offer."

She raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk forming on her lips. "Oh, so you've been following me. Am I really that beautiful to be chased?"

Her response caught me off guard. I shot back, "You certainly have a way with words. Now, just get in my car. I'll drop you off."

She smirked again, her tone teasing. "Are you really trying to show off your wealth?"
She paused for a moment, then declared, "If you're trying to provoke me, it's unnecessary. I'm already frustrated just by having you around. And I'm not heading home right now, so mind your own business."

Realizing that darkness was creeping in and her house was quite a distance away, I insisted, "No matter where you're going, I'll take you there. Just get in; it's really getting dark out."

She shot back, "Are you offering to drive me to hell?"

I chuckled, "Well, my presence might feel like hell itself. Just hop in, and you'll get there in no time."

Her puzzled expression only added to the humor of the moment. She replied, "Very funny. But my mom has strictly forbidden me from seeing any of my old schoolmates. That's why I turned down Vicky's offer. Honestly, it would be much more preferable to ask him for a ride than accept yours. So why don't you just go your own way?"

With that, she turned on her heel, walked to the bus stop, and boarded the bus without looking back.

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I was completely drained by Nitya's typical girlfriend demands. Every week, without fail, I had to take her out for coffee. If I ever hesitated or declined, she'd get upset, and then my mom would step in, insisting I smooth things over. It was becoming a routine I was sick of, but somehow couldn't escape.

You'd think taking a girl out would bring some excitement -- a little nervous energy, the thrill of being with someone special. Guys usually get lost in the conversation, or in her eyes, hoping the moment could last forever. But that wasn't my reality. Not even close.

With Nitya, it was always the same. I knew deep down she was just a friend, and I had never seen her as anything more. No matter how hard I tried to push those feelings into something romantic, they just wouldn't budge. I held her hand, searching for that elusive spark everyone talks about. I looked into her eyes, trying to lose myself, to feel something -- anything -- but there was nothing. It all felt empty, like I was forcing a connection that didn't exist.

I didn't know who to blame. Was it her? Me? The situation we were stuck in? All I knew was that I was tired of pretending. Tired of going through the motions with no real feeling behind them. I didn't want to hurt her, but I couldn't keep living this lie either.