Love Rivals: The Day I Saw Your Tears

66. The Fear Of Losing Is More Suffocating Than Confronting

(Ryan's Pov)

It was nearing 11 PM when I stepped into Vicky’s studio. The soft click of the door got his attention as he sat hunched over his desk, eyes glued to his monitor.

“Why are you still here?” I asked, the low hum of the computer filling the room.

He looked up, a bit surprised to see me. “Just tweaking a few things in Photoshop. You want some coffee?”

“Americano,” I replied, letting my eyes roam around the room, inspecting the equipment and tools scattered about.

His gaze followed mine as I wandered closer to his camera. “What’s going on with you? Tomorrow’s your wedding, and you’re here at this hour?”

I pretended to be interested in his camera, but my mind was elsewhere. “I don’t know… I’m just a little confused.” My voice trailed off as I fiddled with the camera strap.

I scrolled through the photos he had taken at the function, and my heart skipped a beat. As expected, there were a series of Sarah's pictures. As I flipped through the photos, something about the way Vicky had captured her struck me deeply. The way he caught her smile, the glint in her eyes, even the way her hair fell against her face -- it was filled with such quiet admiration, almost reverence.
I could picture Vicky behind the camera, his gaze soft, his heart in every shot. It wasn’t just a photographer capturing a subject; it was someone who saw her with an affection that seeped into every photo. The intimacy in those pictures made me feel uneasy, vulnerable even.

Returning the camera to the table, I felt my chest tighten, a strange realization dawning on me. I turned to Vicky, my voice steady but certain, “And now I’m so clear about what I need to do.”

Vicky raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. “What are you talking about? What exactly are you clear on?”

I stared at him for a moment. Finally, I exhaled, releasing the words I hadn’t been able to say out loud until now. “I’m marrying Sarah.”

Vicky's hands slipped, and the camera hit the floor with a soft thud. The look on his face said it all -- shock, disbelief. He stood frozen for a moment, staring at me as if trying to understand if I was serious.

“I knew you’d be surprised,” I said, exhaling deeply. “Remember that time you asked me who I’d want—the person who’s perfect for me or the one who’ll take care of me? Well, I’ve made my choice. I’m choosing Sarah. I want her by my side for the rest of my life.”

His shock turned into something else—anger. He stepped closer and grabbed my collar, his face inches from mine. “Ryan, if this is just another one of your games, stop it. Don’t play with her feelings again.”

I didn’t flinch. I looked him straight in the eye, my voice firm. “I wasn’t playing back then, and I’m not playing now. You know that better than anyone.”

For a moment, he just stared at me, his grip still tight. Then, slowly, he let go, stepping back. His expression softened, but there was a deep seriousness in his eyes. “Alright, I’ll be honest with you. But before I say anything else, answer me this—do you love her?”

I raised an eyebrow, realizing what he was hinting at. “So, I was right, wasn’t I? You have feelings for her?”

Vicky chuckled, though there was no humor in it. “I don’t even know, man. I can’t tell if it’s love or just... this deep affection. But I admire her. A lot. I care about her, more than I should. The more I noticed her, the more my heart started to flutter.”

He paused, his eyes reflecting a mixture of frustration and emotion, then continued. “I never supported your plan, you know that. And I definitely didn’t want her to fall for you. Because, Ryan, I know you. I know you better than anyone, even better than your parents. Remember the keychain? I knew it was from Sarah. I saw her leave it for you, but I never told you, even though you asked me about it a million times.”

He clenched his fists, and his tone became more intense. “I was afraid, man. Afraid that you’d fall for her. And I didn’t want that. She was my crush back then, and she still is. I just watched from the sidelines, waiting for your stupid plan to succeed, hoping I’d get my chance. But it never came.”

He took a step closer, his voice lowering but filled with determination. “If I have to cross the line this time, I will. Because I’m not going to let you play with her feelings again. Not this time. She deserves better than that, and I won’t stand by and watch it happen.”

I clenched my fist, feeling the anger build inside me. My teeth gritted, and I could barely contain myself as I said, "The nervousness, the pounding in my chest when I proposed to her seven years ago was all real. Even now, when I steal a glance at her, my heart races just the same. I don’t know if it’s love, and honestly, I don’t care. But I do know one thing—I’m afraid of losing her."

He let out a small smirk, challenging me. "And you think you can go against your dad? You know just as well as I do that he’ll never choose her for you."

I stared straight into his eyes, my voice steady and unwavering. "The fear of losing her is more suffocating than confronting him. But don’t worry, Vicky..." I leaned in slightly, my tone edged with finality. "I’ll make sure you never get your chance."