Love Rivals: The Day I Saw Your Tears

140. She's The Heartbeat Of My World

(Ryan's Pov)

Two years had quietly slipped away.
During that time, I kept from pushing myself beyond the limits I once thought I had. I rejoined the hospital, more confident and capable than before. Last year, I completed a special course in my field, one that elevated my skills and prepared me to take on more responsibilities.

Now, I no longer needed Nitya's guidance for every little thing—no more relying on her for meetings, projects, or even complex surgeries. I could handle risky surgeries, navigate important discussions, and take charge of projects.

My room was drenched in her scent, a lingering reminder of her presence in every corner. Each item, from the pillow she used to the books she’d skimmed through, seemed to carry a piece of her. I didn’t even realize when she became the heartbeat of my life, but now, without her, it felt like breathing was a struggle, each inhale heavy with the ache of her absence.

I couldn’t stop replaying the moments—the way she cared for me with such tenderness, how she’d say the smallest things that made me want to tease her just to see that spark in her eyes, the way she stood by me when no one else did. It all rushed back, overwhelming me with a flood of memories I wasn’t ready to face.

After she left, I lay in her bed, wrapping myself in her scent like it was the last thread tying me to her. Sleep never came. Instead, I lay awake, wondering what might have been if I hadn’t said the things I did back then, if I hadn’t let my pride or fears get in the way.

The nights were the worst. My mind raced with possibilities, imagining a life where we hadn’t broken each other. A life where we hadn’t said those words that shattered everything between us. I had no idea I’d hurt her this deeply, and now the weight of that regret was too much to bear.

I never searched for her, not even once, because I knew the moment I saw her, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I’d want to run to her, hold her, and never let go. But I couldn’t let that happen, so I stayed away, keeping my heart locked in its own prison.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, whether it was ten years ago or now, it’s that I’m not truly living without her. When she’s not by my side, I’m merely existing. Days blur into nights, and everything feels lifeless. She was the heartbeat in my world.

After a grueling surgery, all I wanted was a cup of coffee to clear my mind. As I descended the stairs, I spotted the coffee delivery girl with a familiar package in her hands.
I saw her.
In that moment, everything came rushing back. The years we’d been apart, the memories, the ache in my chest—everything. My heart sank as I watched her walk towards the door, as if I’d lost her all over again.

I rushed back to my office, trying to compose myself, but something inside me broke. The tears I’d suppressed for two long years finally escaped, streaming down uncontrollably. I collapsed into my chair, burying my face in my hands, sobbing quietly.

A soft knock interrupted my breakdown. I looked up to see mom standing in the doorway, concern filling her eyes. She rushed over when she saw my tear-streaked face, her voice soft but worried.

“What’s happened, son? Why are you like this?”

I couldn’t keep it in any longer. My voice shook as I whispered, "Mom... I saw Sarah."

Her expression shifted—gentle, understanding. She pulled me close, her arms wrapping around me like they used to when I was a child.

“I can't take this anymore," I confessed, my voice barely above a whisper. "It's suffocating without her, Mom. I need her back. I can't... I can't live like this."

She stroked my hair gently and said, "No one is stopping you, dear. If you truly want her, then go after her."

I hesitated, pulling back slightly, my doubts spilling out. "But how? What if... what if she doesn’t want me anymore? I’ve hurt her so badly..."

Mom cupped my face, her eyes soft but firm. "Then you need to make it right. Don't forget that you're still her husband. If you’ve hurt her, it’s your responsibility to heal that pain. You owe her that much, Ryan."