Our Great Love

Chapter 23: Lilly

I finish up in the bathroom and turn off my music and that's when I notice how quiet it is, so I open the door and step out into my bedroom. And as I walk over to my bed I see the reason why it's so quiet, Joe turned the tv off and fell asleep on my bed, luckily he is on one side so I can easily sleep on the other. I take a second to look at him and I notice how peaceful he looks sleeping, and I notice how messy his hair is but yet looks good at the same time. Before I think myself out of it I open my camera app and take a picture to save for later. I slowly and quietly walk over to the end of my bed and climb up beside Joe on the side. I place my back against his and plug my phone in. Then I grab my blanket at the end of the bed and drape if over both of us so we stay warm. I lay there on my side for a bit and get lost in my thoughts again.

I think about Joe and how amazing he is and how badly I want us to work out but I know we can't even start this relationship for a few more weeks, I don't want to rush this and then lose it. Plus he's the star football quarterback which means that after the game he'll probably forget all about me and find a cheerleader to date or something. I don't want to get my hopes up which is why I friend zone him and why I will wait longer before jumping the gun and dating him. I want to give him an out just in case.

As I keep thinking about our relationship I slowly start to feel myself get sleepy and before I know it I'm lost in my dreams.

I wake up in a panic when I feel someone touch my arm, I open my eyes and I'm met with a forest green that engulfs me and calms me down, that is until I see his face and the frown he wears as he's sitting up against my headboard looking down at me. I sit up so were both in the same seating position.

"Good Morning, are we late for class?" I ask, trying to figure out why he is frowning

"What? Lil it's 4am in the morning. I woke up because you started screaming and shaking in your sleep, and when I tried to touch you so you'd wake up, you freaked out and woke up.

"What do you mean? I don't remember any of that, all I remember was falling asleep next to you and then I felt you wake me up." I say worrying that I had a nightmare and don't remember it, that rarely happens, it must have been worse this time, and having him here didn't help like I hoped it would. FML

"You were having a nightmare or something, are you okay?" he asks

"Yeah I'm fine, sorry I woke you up" I say cursing internally at the fact I had a nightmare next to him and woke him up, I hope he doesn't ask anymore questions because I can't answer them.

"I don't think you are, you have this far away look in your eyes and you kept telling the person in your nightmare to get off of you. You can talk to me if you need to, I'm here for you." he says with a somber look.

"I honestly don't remember having a nightmare but I will be honest and tell you that they happen a lot. They mostly go away when I sleep with someone, because it's like my body knows when to hide it but I guess it didn't do that today. I'm sorry again" I say as I try to crawl to the end of my bed to get out, but before I get off, Joe grabs me and pulls me against him for a hug. I sink into it because I really need one.

"Never be sorry for anything that you can't control, okay? I'm here for you." He whispers and kisses my forehead which makes me melt inside at his kindness. I break the hug and step back.

"Thank you, I'm gonna get dressed and go run but you can stay and sleep" I say as I gather leggings and a bra from my closet.

"Ok I get you need some alone time but if you need a running partner I'll come and I'll be quiet." he says smiling

"Umm sure why not I could use some protection" I say smiling as I head to the bathroom to change. I look in the mirror and flinch at the site, I have bags under my eyes that are almost purple and I have scratches down my arms from clawing at my imaginary intruder who isn't there so I actually get the injuries. I quickly stop looking and get dressed, then I brush my teeth and wash my face. I quickly apply some makeup under my eyes so I look more alive and I clean up my cuts. I emerge from the bathroom and see Joe dressed and ready to run. I smile at him and head to my closet to grab a long sleeve so people don't see my cuts that are now irritated from hydrogen peroxide.

"Lil, what are those?" he says looking at my arm as he slowly follows me into the closet

"Scratches, It's okay I'm gonna cover them so people don't see" I say as I grab a shirt and began to put it on, but before I can he grabs my arm gently and looks at my cuts

"Do you do this to yourself often?" he says frowning as he softly rubs them

"Yes, when I have really bad ones I get active but when I'm having them I don't realize that the person isn't real and I end up hurting myself." I say looking down

"Wait, what person? Why are they attacking you? What are your nightmares about?" he asks

"Its a faceless person and I don't want to talk about this right now, please" I beg looking into his eyes

"OK but let me make them feel a bit better." he says as he slowly lowers his mouth to the cuts and plants soft kisses to each one, I love how understanding and kind he's being with me right now. I think this made me fall even more in love with him, Wait!! Where did that thought come from!! I'm not falling in love, NO!

"There now they are better" he says smiling as he leans back up and helps me pull the shirt over my head and put it on.

"Thank you" I say smiling at his kindness

"No problem, Ready?" he ask

"Yes Ready" I say and we walk out of my closet and I grab my phone and keys. We head to the door and walk out of my dorm, I lock the door and Joe grabs my hand as we walk down the hallway. Every now and then his thumb rubs my palm and helps me stay calm, I'm so glad I have him. These 2 days have been amazing and I honestly can't wait for more but I also can't get my hopes up because Friday is just around the corner and that's his first game and after that he'll be popular and forget about me. It's okay though because I understand, I just wish we had more time but Wednesday, I think I hate Wednesdays now.