t.w. slight talk of death
S E E K I N G
Lost in the memory.
• • •
"All I was trying to get her to understand is that kids need stability. I'm not wrong, am I?" Calum asks as he and Ashton tread up the trail.
"I know I promised to hear you out, but I'm not getting in this one. Especially since it involves you guy's child." The hazel eyed boy holds up his hands. "The last time I said anything, that started a pretty big wildfire." He partially jokes.
"You're not still blaming yourself for Audra and I breaking up, are you?" Calum stops in his tracks. And when Ashton doesn't answer he continues. "There were underlying issues that only we could've dealt with man."
"I know." He kicks at some dried leaves. "But sometimes I think if I hadn't said anything-"
"Then I still would've found out. Like Audra said, if you didn't say anything, then she would've eventually. And the fall out may have been worst. If anything, you simply brought it to light."
"I suppose."
"Now, what's your opinion on all of this?"
Ash sighs. "You have to figure this one out yourself, mate. I mean, I hear what you're saying about wanting to have a stable home and all, but I also hear what she's saying. Some kids have it way worst."
"So, you think we're both right?"
"I think it's two fair points. But you're gonna have to decide what's more important. Being right or coming to some middle ground for your child's sake."
It's quiet between them. Calum shifting his weight; thinking of some rebuttal but having none. Ashton trying his best to skip rocks on the creek. Calum, however, could tell that his best friend was trying to remain neutral. It wasn't his battle after all.
"I just can't help but think about what you said once about the whole trauma with kids in broken homes."
"Aw dude. You're basing your whole outlook on something I said years ago....out of resentment?"
"It wasn't exactly something easy to forget."
Ash drops the stones he had; brushing his hands on the side of his pants. "That came from a personal place. You of all people know the story. My dad wasn't there. And that led to ... a myriad of issues that I've had to work through. You're not anything like my dad bro." He turns to look at his friend. "Trust me, you're not. You've got a chance to be in your kid's life. A chance to be the best father you could be. A chance to love that kid whether you and Audra are together or not. Being there and loving that kid with every fiber of your being is the best thing that you two could ever do. I know it."
"Right." The tan boy nods. "I guess for me it's coming from a place where I'm used to both parents being together from the start. Nothing more, nothing less."
"And nothing is wrong with that. That's your experience. It's what you'd consider normal your whole life. But consider her own relationship with her parents. She talked about being close to her mom, but she died when she was pretty young. And her dad went rogue after that happened. Audr' didn't exactly have the dream childhood either."
"I know..." He says starting to get upset with himself for not considering any of that while he was making his case. "I wasn't trying to be insensitive to that."
"I'm sure she knows that. But her own perspective is probably gonna make her more of a realist, I reckon."
"You're probably right."
