Burn the light

Chapter 8

So sorry for the wait. I have started a new job a few weeks ago so I did not have time to write. But I  am incorporating writing into my new routine.

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My head keeps looking up from the book I am holding. I usually am so invested in a book that I forget my surroundings but today the bookshop feels empty. I have seen Eiran here every time I went lately so I miss his absence when he is not there. A bookshop full of books and I am missing the only one that I cannot read.

I grab my phone from the table and hesitate a quick second before clicking on the contact associated with his number. Eiran. I sent a text two weeks ago to thank him again. And there was no further conversation after his text replying "No worries."

There were times when I wanted to text him but never did because I had nothing to say. It feels weird that I want to share my soul with him, cut myself open and let everything flow out of me for him to comprehend and to liberate me. It is weird because we have no real connection, neither friends, nor strangers. Just human beings that shared a few glances and a few conversations. But he is the only one who gives my soul comfort, it eases my thoughts and deep emotions.

Is this what gratitude is supposed to feel like?

"Are you coming to the bookshop today?" I send.

My fingers click on the table waiting for his answer.

"No." He replies and I can't help being disappointed. I guess I wanted to see him. "I have somewhere to go." He continues.

I send a sad emoji face.

"You can come if you want to."

I try not to hit "Yes, I do." too quickly.

I get up when he tells me that he will be there soon. I put the book back on its shelf and take the direction to the bathroom. My lips are curved into a smile.

Winter is coming and my hair is getting frizzier the more it approaches. It always looked better in spring and autumn. I pull it back in a ponytail. I have never dyed it, left it the dark blond color it has always been since I was a teenager. It looks brighter during summer thanks to the sun.

I go outside when I receive a text saying that he is here. And indeed he is in the car parked in front of the bookshop. He comes out from the passenger door and opens the back door for me.

"Hi." He says.

"Hi." I force a smile after seeing that it is Alessio that is driving this flashing red car. But my smile turns into a real one when I enter the car and see Hayes in the back.

I sit next to him, letting the middle seat between us.

I did not know that they would be here. I thought it would only be me and Eiran. He did imply that I will see them again but I did not think it would be so soon. I won't be mad though since Eiran offered me to go to London even though he is supposed to spend the day with his friends.

I have went to London only once. Two years ago, in spring. It was a beautiful sunny day and Sam convinced Matthew and I, with great trouble, to ditch class to go on a trip to London.

"Hello." I say after sitting in the back seat.

Alessio is behind the wheel and does not acknowledge my presence.

"Hi sweetheart." Replies Hayes with a big smile that makes me feel happy. His positivity is contagious. "Coming with us to London?"

"I could not say no to London."