Burn the light

Chapter 9

I am so so sorry for the wait. I had trouble writing lately and I honestly thought no one cared about this little story. But apparently some do so here is a new chapter.

A little life update: I have resigned from my job a few weeks ago so I am back at stage 1 meaning applying to jobs and having interviews. But it's good, I can better convey what Aether is going through. 

I hope you like this chapter ♡

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I pack with shaking hands, taking breaks every few minutes to put my head through the window and breathe some fresh air. It was the only way to calm my panic attacks. To breathe abundantly.

I have avoided looking at the mirror today, knowing that what I would look at would not look pretty. I probably have dark circles under my eyes and red eyes. I have cried so much lately that I think I lost the ability to shed tears. I probably don't have any more water in my body. Which is weird because I am drowning in my own ocean.

I look at the small studio once filled with my belongings now completely empty of my stuff. My two suitcases are against the door and I have a bag containing my pillow and my duvet.

I close the door behind me, step down the eleven steps and put the key in the mailbox as requested by the landlord. I am officially homeless as I have feared for the last few months.

My phone rings and my thumb stays in the air as I am debating whether to answer or no. I finally decline Hayes' call.

I gave him my number last time we were in London. After I had stopped crying, Alessio and I joined Hayes and Eiran in a cafe. Eiran instantly knew I had been crying. He always knows. He might know people more than they know themselves. He gave a dark look to Alessio, thinking maybe that he was the source of my crying. Alessio did not say anything and I still don't know why. In this kind of situation wouldn't you try to defend yourself ? I had of course intervened and said that the wind made me cry. A stupid excuse but an excuse that meant that I did not want to talk about it.

He didn't ask more questions but his gaze was on me for a long time after that. Maybe one day, he will ask me what made me cry. But that is what I like about Eiran, he asks, not demands. And he cares. He cares even though we have known each other for only a couple months now. Three to be exact. Thinking about how observant he is, how protective he makes me feel and how relaxed I feel around him, I knew it was only a matter of time before I fell for him. If it was not already the case.

I have never fallen in love. I did not know how love felt. I mean... I love my friends and I feel loved by them but romantical love was another level I have never been engaged in.

I feel like it would be easy to be in love with Eiran and even easier to fall for him. He is intelligent, caring, protective, observant and beautiful. The type of man you can't seem to forget.

I don't know when I have started to think differently about him. Maybe in London, when he looked at Alessio with murderous eyes, making me feel like he cared. Or maybe earlier during one of our encounters in the bookshop. It was not love at first sight but maybe our souls have met before, I have never felt so connected to someone until meeting him.

He probably thinks of me as only a friend. Or a little sister. Gosh... I wish it is not the case. I don't even know how old he is or how old are his friends. I don't think there was that much of an age gap between us.

But he would never think anything romantically towards me. Certainly not after today. I was homeless, I was a nobody. I have been a nobody for a few months now. I have accepted that but it does not mean it didn't hurt nonetheless.