"to burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves."
- Federico García Lorca
Staying out of trouble is not Frank Castle's strong suit. But is Jenavieve Howlett more trouble than The Punisher can handle...
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"you don't fight fair, but that's okay, see if i care. knock me down, it's all in vain, i get right back on my feet again." - Hit Me With Your Best Shot, ADONA
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~ Jenavieve's POV ~
Running for a couple blocks, I slow my pace once the streets start becoming more populated.
My eyes and ears perceive everything they can. The last thing I need right now is Evan showing up again. Because, it has crossed my mind over the past week that Stryker has been quiet.
Perhaps he's creating more serum, or trying to create more trackers. It won't be good, whatever the reason for his absence.
My mind wanders at the thought of Evan, and I feel a pang within my chest. I wish I could help him, release him from Stryker's clutches, send him back to his family.. He managed to show me kindness and mercy in a situation he couldn't afford to. Because by nature, he was good. Stryker lied to him, too. He's as much a victim as my unit and I have been. Especially now that Stryker's taken to experimenting on him, as well. When I escaped, I should have dragged Evan out with me. But then maybe his family would have ended up like mine.
The blood on my hands is already thick enough. And it's only going to thicken more. But I will try with all my might to ensure it's only bad blood that I'll drown in. No more innocent blood. And most definitely not Frank's blood.
I keep my head down, and keep a steady pace on the streets of New York, senses on high alert while my mind is reeling. While I mainly left for Frank's sake, I think it's good for me, too. New York air may not be the freshest but god, I was going stir crazy inside that trailer. If my presence is a bother to him, I have to remove myself. I won't make things harder for him than they need to be. All our bickering aside, he's been nothing but loyal, when he really didn't need to be.
As annoyed as I am at him for what he said, I find it's more his attitude that's bothering me, rather than his words. Things had been going so well between us this week, I don't understand this sudden flip. But he doesn't seem to like it when we get too close. Which I would accept and respect, if he didn't keep coming within reach.
But maybe whatever connection I thought Frank and I shared is only physical. His body likes me, that much I can tell. But his mind, apparently not so much.
Maybe it's not me, maybe it's the animal within that he doesn't like.
I turn my brain over and over our whole situation as I walk through the city, unbothered by anyone around me.
I know how to read men. I was trained to. However.. I was trained to read desire, lust, attraction.. short term, surface feelings. My targets would not live long enough to develop deeper feelings. Deciphering genuine affection is all guesswork for me. But Frank's eyes always tell me everything I need to know. And while he's not a man of many words, actions always speak louder.
