nick and charlie: love is the strongest force

chapter thirty eight

Tw: slight anxiety

It had been about a week since Nick’s last appointment with Geoff. The conversations were helping him understand his emotions, but intimacy still felt complicated. That evening, Nick and Charlie were lying in Nick’s room, close but not quite touching, both lost in their own thoughts.

Nick had been thinking about their relationship a lot lately—about where they were, and how they might move forward. He could feel the weight of unspoken things between them, things they hadn’t really talked about.

“Charlie,” Nick said softly, turning to face him, “can we talk?”

Charlie immediately gave him his full attention, his eyes filled with care. “Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

Nick hesitated, but he knew he needed to have this conversation. “I’ve been thinking about… us. About how we’re being together and how we… you know, how we touch each other.”

Charlie nodded slowly, sensing the seriousness in Nick’s voice. “Yeah, okay. What do you want to talk about?”

Nick took a deep breath, trying to sort through his thoughts. “I’ve been thinking about boundaries and what makes me feel safe. I want to be closer with you, but sometimes… sometimes it’s hard for me. There are certain things that make me feel uncomfortable or bring back bad memories, and I don’t always know how to tell you in the moment.”

Charlie’s expression softened with understanding. “I get it, Nick. I really do. You can always tell me what you need, and we can take it slow. No pressure.”

Nick smiled slightly, grateful for Charlie’s patience. “I know, but I want to be clear about what feels okay and what doesn’t. Like, I don’t like being touched on my waist or being surprised by a touch when I’m not expecting it. And some words—like ‘relax’ or ‘just let go’—they freak me out because they remind me of… things.”

Charlie nodded. “That makes total sense. Thanks for telling me. We’ll avoid those, for sure.”

Nick bit his lip before continuing. “I’ve also been thinking that maybe we could try using a safe word. That way, if I’m ever uncomfortable, I don’t have to explain in the moment. I can just say the word, and we stop.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up with approval. “That’s a great idea. Do you have a word in mind?”

Nick thought for a moment. “How about… ‘blue’? It’s simple and easy to remember.”

“‘Blue’ works,” Charlie agreed with a smile. “And if I ever need to check in, I’ll ask if you’re feeling ‘green,’ which means everything’s good, or ‘yellow’ if you’re unsure. If it’s ‘red’ or ‘blue,’ we stop.”

Nick smiled, feeling more at ease now that they had a system. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Charlie sat up a little, keeping his hand on Nick’s. “Do you want to try something now? We can see how it feels, and if anything feels off, just say ‘blue.’ No pressure at all.”

Nick hesitated but then nodded. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

They shifted so that they were sitting up facing each other. Charlie reached out, his hands hovering over Nick’s waist, giving him a chance to stop him if it felt too much. Nick nodded again, giving permission, and Charlie gently touched him—soft, careful, and slow. He could tell Nick was tense at first, but he relaxed slightly after a few moments.

“How does this feel?” Charlie asked quietly.

“Green,” Nick whispered, feeling a bit more comfortable with the touch. Charlie’s hands didn’t linger too long on his waist, instead moving gently up to Nick’s chest. As he slid his hands up, he kept his movements slow, watching Nick’s face for any sign of discomfort.