It's all about Her

A Part of Me is You...

After the start of Class 10, I felt like the happiest person in the world.

It was as if the universe had aligned itself just right, bringing me back to the place where I could admire you every single day.

I found myself constantly trying to get closer to you, to find a way to start a conversation, to simply say "hi" but each time I tried, the courage slipped away from me.

It was strange, wasn't it?

How someone so significant in my life could still feel so distant.

I would rehearse words in my head, play out scenarios where we'd talk, but when it came to reality, I could never bring myself to actually speak.

Yet, that didn't stop me from looking forward to every single day, just to catch a glimpse of you.

And then there were the exams.

Odd as it may sound, those were the moments I looked forward to the most.

Because I knew, without fail, you'd be sitting just in front of me.

That was the only time I felt like I had an excuse to communicate with you.

Whether it was borrowing a pen or asking you to move your curls that have slipped out of your ponytail.

Those fleeting interactions were the highlight of my days.

The thought of telling you how I felt crossed my mind a hundred times.

I wanted to propose to you, to let you know just how deeply I admired you.

But every time the words formed in my mind, a doubt would creep in.

I wasn't certain about your response.

You didn't seem interested in love, in all of this, or maybe I was just too scared to find out.

I would ask myself over and over again:

What if you said no?

What if you didn't feel the same?

The fear of ruining even the small connection we had, no matter how distant, held me back.

But I couldn't keep my thoughts to myself any longer.

There was something I had to ask, even if I never got a chance to say anything else to you in my life.

I don't know when I'll ever have the courage to propose to you, so I want to ask you this instead:

"Can I just normalize admiring you quietly, without feeling any guilt?"

There was a part of me that knew I might never be able to cross that boundary between us.

But there was also a deeper truth that had slowly taken shape in my heart.

Admiring you, caring for you, loving you-it had all become a part of who I was.

And that's how, in my heart, you became a part of me...