It's all about Her

The Ugly Side of Love...

Time passed, and with it, the wounds you unknowingly inflicted on me festered deeper, tearing apart everything I once was.

You didn't mean to hurt me, but you did.

And I was left standing, lost in the crossfire between love and hate, two emotions that tore me apart, both anchoring me to you.

You made me who I am today.

And no, I don't mean the version of me that anyone would admire.

The version of me that's rude, distant, and constantly battling anger.

It's your fault, whether you intended it or not.

You were once the soft melody that made my heart sing, but now you are the storm that's left me broken and bitter.

I used to be playful, full of life, a shy boy who looked at the world with a soft, hopeful gaze.

But you, in all your grace and beauty, turned me into something I despise.

You gave me ego.

You gave me rage.

You gave me dominance.

And it was all for what?

For someone else to take what I thought was mine?

The pain I felt, the anger that consumed me... it was all because of you.

He was your senior, and that's a fact I had to accept.

He's better than me in ways I couldn't deny.

But knowing that doesn't make it hurt any less.

It only fueled the fire.

He was a common friend of many, but never mine, And you... you were always the reason why.

I couldn't share even an inch of you, but the harsh truth was, you never belonged to me in the first place.

It was him who owned you.

And then i got to knew that his proposal wasn't some impulsive moment.

He had been your friend long before that.

A friend I never could be.

And in that moment, my heart turned cold.

Every moment of pain I felt,

"I blamed you."

Even though I knew it wasn't your fault,

"I blamed you."

I remember how he would come to our class in the mornings, right until the start of the first period.

How you and your friends used to have the conversation in with him.

It's funny how the people around me stood by me.

Friends, even when they knew the truth, that I was wrong and you were never mine, they chose to support me.

School became unbearable after that.

I used to say I had books to study, but the truth was, I was running away from the reality that you were there.

I used to love every moment I saw you, but then, all that love morphed into something darker.

"Hate."

I couldn't stand the sight of you anymore.

I hated the way your hair fell out of place, the way you laughed with him, the way your eyes sparkled when you looked at him.

You became everything I resented.

The beauty I once saw in your face, the innocence in your smile, was gone, replaced by a stranger, someone I didn't want to know.

But here's the cruelest part: while I hated everything about you, I could never, ever hate those eyes.

They still held that same childlike wonder, the same carefree beauty I'd once cherished.

No matter how much I tried, those eyes always brought me back.

They were the only part of you that still felt real, still felt like mine.

And that's what killed me.

The way I still longed for something that was never mine.

For Almost six months, I wrestled with myself, and in that time, I became someone I despised.

I cried for the first time over a girl - you - but you never knew.

You never knew how deeply I loved you, how broken you left me.

My friends saw it, but you were blind to it.

And maybe that's what hurt the most:

the knowledge that I loved you so hard, yet you remained completely unaware of it.

Exams became the battlefield between my heart and mind.

You sat in front of me, but I couldn't afford to look at you.

The more I admired you, the more the reality of you belonging to him hit me like a hammer.

My pride took over.

I became obsessed with keeping my distance, with not allowing myself to fall into that vulnerable place again.

I didn't want to feel. But still, there were moments, moments when my heart wanted to reach out, when I wanted to talk to you.

Even though I hated you, I still longed for you.

The pain of one-sided love is not just in the heartache.

It's in the war between what you feel and what you know is true.

My mind told me to let go, but my heart wouldn't listen.

The anger burned me from the inside out, yet my soul ached for a love I could never have.

In the end, you became someone I couldn't escape from.

The hate I held for you was nothing compared to the love I still carried.

It was a twisted kind of love, a love that only existed in the shadows of what could have been.

And though I wanted to hate you, deep down, I knew I couldn't.

Because as much as you had shattered me, you were still the only person I couldn't stop thinking about.

It was the constant battle between heart and mind.

My heart wanted you, but my mind forced me to shut down those feelings.

And in the end, I was left torn, in a never ending struggle.

And that's what the ugly side of love looks like...