It's all about Her

The complicated connection...

Soon the board exams came and went, and with them, the conflict inside me.

I couldn't deny it anymore, I still admired you. But at the same time, I blamed you.

Blamed you for the pain I felt, the anger that consumed me.

Then came the lockdown.

Schools closed, and everything changed.

It was a difficult time for everyone, but for me, it felt like a healing period.

I wasn't thinking about you constantly, and it was almost a relief.

It wasn't as if everything magically fell into place, but I started to find a sense of peace in the chaos.

The world outside was falling apart, but for once, I wasn't obsessing over you.

For the first time, it felt like I could breathe without the constant ache in my chest.

When the 10th-grade results came, I scored even lower than before, but I didn't care.

It was what I expected.

It wasn't about the marks anymore; it was about moving on, accepting what had happened.

Then came the decision to choose my stream in Class 11th.

I followed my sister's path and chose commerce.

I thought I was done. Done with the memories, the pain, and you.

I believed I would never see you again. But fate had other plans.

One day, as I logged into an online class, there you were. My heart dropped, and the conflict in my chest started to rise again.

I had hated you for months, yet here I was, feeling a strange sense of happiness that you were in my class.

How could I still feel that way?

That year felt like healing.

I didn't see you, and I thought it was for the best.

Slowly, I started to move on, or so I thought.

I became more outgoing, something I wasn't before. I focused on my studies, trying to forget everything that hurt.

But then, during an online English class, our teacher asked you to read.

It was the first time I had heard your voice in months.

It brought back so many memories.

"I love listening to your voice,"

I thought, even though I didn't want to admit it.

During this time, I started writing. Writing became my escape.

It was where I poured out everything I couldn't say, the things I didn't know how to express.

And that's how theartist_nick, my new identity was born.

The lockdown period was strange.

For everyone else, it was a time of enjoyment, but for me, it was healing.

I was starting to let go of the past, to free myself from the pain you had caused me.

Then, during the final exams of Class 11th, I saw you again.

You were wearing a mask, but your eyes still held that same power.

And in that moment, I realized it wasn't your fault, nor was it mine.

" Maybe we were never meant to be "

Yet here I was, helpless against the pull of my feelings.

And that's why I call it a complicated connection...