It's all about Her

In the Absence of You...

The next ten months felt like an endless blur, empty and hollow without you.

Honestly, there's not much to write about-just a stretch of days that dragged on, heavy with the weight of your absence.

But there is one thing I need to tell you: I got attracted to someone else.

Yes, I admit it, without any shame.

She wasn't just anyone; she was the same girl I once introduced you to, hoping to make you jealous.

I know that was immature, but at that time, I was desperate to feel noticed by you, to make you care even a little more.

And as time passed, I found myself drawn to her.

She embodied everything I once believed you were.

She had qualities I always thought I wanted in you, things I quietly wished you would have.

And maybe that's why I let myself get closer to her.

It wasn't love, not the way I loved you, but I convinced myself that if you were happy with someone else, I should try to move on.

I tried to convince my heart that it was okay to feel something for her, especially since I thought we were done, that our story had reached its end.

I told myself that loving you was foolish, that I should let go of you.

But deep down, my heart never truly listened. It still wanted you,

"it still craved you."

Yes, she fits more into the idea of what I thought I needed.

She ticked off all the boxes-things that made sense logically, things that aligned with the "perfect" image I had in mind.

But the truth is, no matter how perfectly she fits my so-called standards, you will always remain my love.

Even when you are not what I'd call "my type," even when you are different in ways I can't explain, those differences are exactly what make you irreplaceable.

You were never just another person to me; you were my everything, even if you didn't realize it.

I know it was wrong to get attracted to her while being in love with you.

I know I can't call it love anymore if I allowed myself to feel something for someone else.

After all, if it were real love, how could I be drawn to another?

But the thing is, you never wanted me.

That's the bitter truth I've had to live with every single day.

And maybe that's why I strayed, looking for fragments of what I felt for you in someone else.

But no matter where I go, no matter who crosses my path, no one can ever replace what I feel for you.

Because at the end of the day, it's still you. It's always you.

And that's what all that happened in absence of you...