It's all about Her

The Impossibility of Us...

Looking back at my 11th grade, I realize it was a confusing time, a year mostly filled with the struggle inside my heart.

It's strange how fast that year went by when you weren't a part of it.

Without you, my days felt like a book with empty pages, lacking the excitement and color that your presence brought.

So let's continue with Your story...

When 12th grade started and the lockdown finally ended, I thought I had accepted your absence.

I believed I could focus on my studies and chase my new dream, that is, to top the board exams.

I was determined to move on, but then you showed up at the same coaching class, pulling me back into a whirlwind of feelings I thought I had left behind.

You became my biggest distraction.

Every time I saw you, my heart would race, drowning out all the thoughts telling me to concentrate.

I felt torn between wanting to do well in school and being drawn to you.

It was frustrating, this mix of determination and longing, battling inside me like two forces fighting for control.

In class also, your laughter would fill the room, making it brighter, and I couldn't ignore you.

Despite the anger I had felt for so long, a familiar warmth began to grow in my heart.

I know I hated you for a while, but there you were, right in front of me.

The love of my life...

The girl of my dreams...

The princess I ever prayed for...

You made everything feel special. But this came with a conflict a battle inside me.

One part of me wanted you, craving your presence, while the other part resented the hurt and confusion from the past, wishing I could forget you completely.

Still, as time went on, I found myself falling for you again, even though I tried to fight it.

Maybe one day, I'll find a way to silence these echoes. Maybe one day, I'll be able to let go.

It's strange how love works, isn't it?

One moment, you're drowning in it, in every smile, every glance, and the next, it leaves you in the darkness, gasping for air, lost in a sea of bitterness.

You have no control over it. It consumes you from within, and you can't stop it.

I tried to let go.

I thought if I ignored you long enough, if I buried my feelings deep enough, I'd be able to move on.

But the heart is a stubborn thing.

It clings to the memories, to the moments we shared, even if they were only in my mind.

It makes me sick to think how I've become addicted to this pain, how every day without you feels like a slow suffocation.

It's funny how I thought I could move past you when the truth is, you've been a part of me for so long that I can't even imagine a life without these emotions.

It's the impossibility of us that keeps me trapped.

It's knowing that no matter how much I wish for it, I'll never truly be able to let you go.

And that's how i fell in love with the impossibility of us...