Scared, Potter?

Whats in the book Ms Snider?

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A pit was growing in the bottom of Harry's stomach. He has grown more violent. He should've known better. Malfoy has always been infuriating but Harry knew he should always have more patience. More tolerance. He shouldn't have lashed out like that. "Neville you don't understand..it felt good punching him in the library! Good! And I swear I was going to do it again at detention."

"He often pushes your buttons, Harry. We knew this." Neville watched Harry with concern.

"I just don't understand..we weren't on the friendliest terms but..it was just weeks ago he wasn't so-..Malfoyish! He wasn't being a dick. We had conversations that didn't end up with him and me fighting." Harry huffed as he paced his room for nearly the hundredth time. "I want to ask if maybe I did something wrong or offended him somehow but I don't want to come off as this clingy guy who's desperate. I don't actually need him, y'know?"

"He's Malfoy, Harry. Sure he's not the raging blood purist as he was before but he's still him." Neville shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess.." Harry had stopped pacing. He wanted to be satisfied with that answer. That Draco was just being Draco but Harry had the strongest feeling that something wasn't quite right. But why did he even care? He never cared about the blond before so why does now matter?

Harry sighed, rubbing his temple. "Still..I don't like lashing out like this.."

"Maybe you should see Ms Snider." Neville suggested "she might help."

Harry was reluctant, very reluctant. He didn't want to open up to a stranger. But perhaps he ought to give it a chance. "You might be right.."

"You got this Harry." Neville placed a comforting hand on Harry's shoulder. Which Harry responded with a small yet genuine smile.

After a few minutes of talking himself into it, Harry mustered the courage to walk to Ms Snider's office. Luckily her office was a bit far. It gave Harry enough time to figure out what he wanted to say once he got there.

Upon arriving, her door was already open. Harry took a peak inside, slightly hoping to find her not there, but, unfortunately, she was indeed in her office. Harry hesitantly knocked on the door despite it being wide open.

The woman looked up from her piece of parchment. "Oh hello Mr Potter. Please come in." She smiled at him and gestured for him to take a seat.

Harry closed the door behind him as he took a seat in one of the many oddly comfy chairs. He immediately began fidgeting with his hands in his lap.

"What brings you in here today?" The woman got from behind her desk and sat in a chair in front of Harry. Her voice was soft, welcoming.

"Um..I've been..err..having a bit of a problem lately." Harry didn't know why he was so nervous.
"Err-.."

"Would you feel comfortable if we introduced each other? I know with some students it helps, if you'd like to try." Ms Snider's soft smile never faltered. It wasn't unsettling, just new.

"Yeah maybe..sure."

"Alright." The woman leaned back in her chair "My name is Nikki Snider, I am from America and my favorite dessert is pumpkin pie."

Now this Harry could do "my name is Harry Potter and I'm from England. My favorite dessert is treacle tart."

"Is treacle tart that good? I've never tried it before." The woman tilted her head slightly.

"It might be the best thing ever created." Harry said, smiling a bit.

"I'd have to try it someday." The woman hummed. "Do you have an idea of what you'd like to be once you get out of Hogwarts?"

"I thought maybe I could be an Auror. I've got seven years of experience fighting off dark wizards so.." Harry shrugged, half joking. "I think it'd be good. Fitting for me. Making sure no one knows what it's like to be like me..to grow up like me."

"That is very noble of you, Mr Potter." The woman's smile grew softer.

Harry looked up from his fidgeting hands for a moment, watching her for a moment, then sheepishly looking away. "I just want to repair all the damage Voldemort has done. The damage Tom Riddle has done."

"Some would say you've done that already."  The brunette said.

"Sure Tom Riddle is gone but what of his followers? The ministry isn't going public with it but I know they didn't catch all the deatheaters. Some of them are still out there, plotting. I just know it." Harry sighed. He could feel it in his bones that he wasn't finished yet. He wasn't done.

"It must've been exhausting carrying all that weight by yourself. Especially for how long you've been doing it."

Harry was exhausted from dealing with it. Dealing with Voldemort trying to kill him and everyone else for seven to eight years. And Harry had to be the one to fix it. "Yes..but it must be done. Its my job to protect everyone. No offense but the adults have been doing quite a shit job."

The woman chuckled at his bluntness "yes I can imagine. Leaving the job of killing a powerful wizard up to a child isn't quite ideal. Though you must have some relief in knowing he's gone, right?"

"Yes. Merlin, yes. For the first time in years I can walk within these walls without having to worry about killing a beast or having a grown man hunt me down. At least not yet anyways. for the first time in years I can live semi-normally." Harry's shoulders relaxed. This would be the first year he has some sense of normalcy.

"Would you say you've been able to adjust and relax here?"

Now that was a hard question to answer. "Err..technically yes. I still have..nightmares. I'm sure everyone does so I think that's normal..but.. lately I've been..sort of..violent? Or maybe just aggressive towards some..people." Draco.

"Oh?"

"This one person has been so..infuriating. I thought this year we'd at least be nicer to each other and sometimes he has been but..at other times he can be..such-..such a dick, y'know? I don't understand it. Out of nowhere his attitude changes and we end up fighting. Then in detention he just wouldn't stop poking and prodding at me.. and I almost snapped at him again."
Harry looked back down at his fidgeting hands.
"I don't like getting violent. I don't like feeling like I want to hurt somebody because I don't.. but when he gets so-..so frustrating it's like he wants me to hurt him. He does it on purpose."

The woman didn't respond, allowing Harry to continue.

"I don't understand it..I don't understand him..I don't even understand why I want to understand him anyways. He's never been kind to me before so I don't know why I'm expecting him to be kind now."  Harry huffed, getting himself worked up again.
"But maybe it's me. Maybe I did something or maybe I offended him somehow. I wish he'd tell me."

The brown haired woman thought for a moment, contemplating as she looked at Harry, seeing his internal struggle.
"I'm going to give you two things.." she started.

Harry looked up from his hands to meet her gaze.

The woman gets up and pulls two books out from her desk and hands them both to Harry. "One can be your personal journal and the other is..a book I think would help you figure out what you might be feeling."

There was a knowing look in her eye. Yet she was hiding it. What does she know? Harry looked down at the book. A biology book of some sort.

"I suggest page 394. It could be quite..informative." She said, the glint in her eye gave Harry a chill. It was an unspoken promise.

'You will find something in that book.'

Harry cleared his throat and stood up. "Well-..thank you, Miss. I think I should be going now though."

"Of course. I'm glad you came in today. Please, whenever you feel like it, come again." She bowed her head slightly.

"Right, thank you." Harry then turned on his heel and left her room.