John 18:16-17 NIV
[16] but Peter had to wait outside at the door. The other disciple, who was known to the high priest, came back, spoke to the servant girl on duty there and brought Peter in. [17] “You aren’t one of this man’s disciples too, are you?” she asked Peter. He replied, “I am not.”
Everyone's threshold for loyalty is different. Here we read of two discies. One who used his identity to gain access to Jesus's proximity and the other who despite making use of that said access denies him out of his own sense of self and self preservation.
Jesus repeatedly asks his disciples to deny the self. Without that the second part of his command is pointless. If you cannot deny yourself you can't bear the cross and if you don't bear the cross then how are you following him.
However God makes allowance for our weakness. Jesus knew about Peter's denial. So after his resurrection Jesus made provisions for his reinstatement. No matter how much distance we put between our calling and our safe space Jesus has a plan for us and a way of executing it, because of us and despire us.
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