Shades of Desire

Ivy

The professors informed us about this literary event happening, and I decided to go. Reading and writing have always been my passion—my first love, you could say. Written words can express so much more than words spoken aloud, wrapping emotions in layers of meaning that often escape the spoken language.

I asked Ethan to come with me.

"Babe, as much as I would really want to, you know I hate books," he replied, shrugging with a playful grin.

Disappointment washed over me. I had hoped he'd share this part of my world, but I knew better than to push it.

So, I went on my own. As I stepped inside the venue, a wave of comfort enveloped me. The smell of old pages mixed with fresh ink filled the air, wrapping around me like a warm blanket.

I wandered around, exploring all the different kinds of genres—mystery, romance, fantasy—when I spotted a familiar face across the room. Jace. He was leaning against a wall, engrossed in Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami, the pages cradled in his hands.

Nervous at first, my heart raced as I decided to sit next to him. "Hey, I love that book! The way Murakami writes about love and loss is just so captivating, don't you think?" I said, trying to sound casual, but my voice came out a little shaky.

He looked up, surprise flickering in his eyes, followed by a spark of recognition. "Yeah, it's like he captures the essence of loneliness. It's beautifully haunting."

"I know, right? The way he portrays the characters makes you feel their pain as if it were your own," I replied, feeling the conversation flow easily between us.

As we exchanged thoughts about the book, I felt the tension from our last encounter start to fade. We discussed our favorite passages, laughing over the absurdities of some characters and sharing our own interpretations. Each word seemed to draw us closer, and for a moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the world.

After a while, I gathered the courage to address the elephant in the room. "So, why did you leave just like that... in the frat house?"

He scrunched his eyebrows, a teasing smile playing at the corners of his lips. "I could ask you the same," he replied, his tone light but his gaze intense.

Confusion washed over me. What did he mean?

Oh fuck... those eyes. Now I knew where I had seen them— that night in the club.

He noticed the flush creeping onto my cheeks, a smirk dancing across his face. "You remember now?"

"Omg, I'm so sorry. I was so drunk; it was a stupid mistake," I blurted out, my heart pounding in my chest.

As soon as the words escaped my lips, regret settled in. That night was special to me—I lost my virginity to him, and it was more than just a moment of reckless abandon. It was a connection I couldn't shake off.

"Please don't mention this to Ethan," I pleaded, suddenly feeling vulnerable.

"Sure, don't worry," he replied, his voice surprisingly gentle.

I smiled, but it felt fragile, like glass ready to shatter. I glanced at the time, realizing I had to get back. The event had been a refreshing escape, but reality was waiting for me outside.

After exchanging goodbyes, I left the place, but my mind didn't. It lingered on Jace—the way he read, the way he spoke, and how those moments felt so effortless. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to him, a depth hidden beneath that bad-boy exterior.

As I walked back to my dorm, my heart raced with confusion and excitement. I had to see him again.