Shades of Desire

Ivy

Days had turned into weeks since I last had any real interaction with Jace. Things were great with Ethan. We made out wherever we could, and I felt like I couldn't keep my hands off him. But even in those moments of passion, my mind would drift back to Jace, the way he looked at me that night, and the feelings I couldn't shake off.

Today, I was meeting Ethan in his dorm. I knocked on the door, and he pulled me in, pressing me against the wall as he kissed me. The warmth of his body was intoxicating, but there was still a lingering unease in my chest.

"Where are your roommates?" I managed to ask between kisses.

"Um, they're not here," he replied, his tongue brushing against my lips, sending shivers down my spine.

He led me to his room, and as he put his forehead against mine, I could feel the tension in the air shift.

"Babe, I like you. Do you think we can be something serious?"

His words hit me like a cold wave. I hesitated, my heart racing. I didn't want to be serious with him, not when my thoughts kept circling back to my night with Jace. I could almost hear the echoes of our laughter, feel the weight of that moment pressing against my conscience. It would be so unfair to Ethan.

"I know you wanted things casual," he continued, his eyes searching mine, "but we'd be great together."

I felt the words hanging between us, heavy with expectation. I opened my mouth to respond, but all that came out was a choked silence. My mind was a chaotic mess, swirling with confusion and guilt.

"I... I just can't," I finally whispered, the words tasting bitter on my tongue.

As I stepped away, a wave of shame washed over me. I felt shitty for leaving him hanging, but the thought of diving deeper into a relationship while my heart was still tangled with Jace was suffocating. I needed to get out of there.

I rushed to my car, gripping the steering wheel tightly as I drove aimlessly, my thoughts a jumbled mess. Just like that, I found myself pulling into Jace's apartment complex, the familiar anxiety creeping back in. What was I doing?