Shades of Desire

Ivy

As I walked back to my dorm after being with Jace, I felt all kinds of things swirling inside me. At least Jace tried to ask me out on a date. That was something, right? I mean, I knew he wasn't the romantic type, but it was nice he made the effort. But still, during dinner, he seemed so stiff, like he didn't know how to act outside of our usual routine.

I could see him fidgeting with his fork, glancing around, and I just wanted to make it easier for him. So, I said, "Let's just go back to your place." It was what we always did, and honestly, I was okay with that. But was that all there was? I thought about what Jess said—was it true that all we had was physical? But whatever was between Jace and me felt good, and didn't that count for something?

Shaking off those thoughts, I headed to class, trying to keep my mind off everything. The campus was alive with students chatting and laughing, and I felt a bit lighter as I walked through it. But then I spotted Ethan. He was with his friends, laughing, and I felt a mix of emotions hit me.

For a moment, my heart raced. I always loved his laugh. It was infectious, and seeing him so carefree made me feel something I didn't want to admit. I tried to focus on my notes, but that wasn't happening.

Then I heard Sam's voice cut through the noise. "So, how did it go with that brunette girl from the bar?"

Ethan replied casually, "We fucked. That's all."

My stomach dropped, and I didn't know how to react. I shouldn't feel jealous or anything, but hearing him talk about another girl like that hurt. I thought I was fine with Jace, that what we had was enough, but now?

It was like a punch to the gut. I was just standing there, trying not to show my feelings, but it stung. I wanted to yell at myself for even feeling this way. Why did I care? I was supposed to be over this, yet here I was, feeling more confused than ever.

After hearing that, I decided to skip classes. I needed to get away from everything, from Ethan and all these mixed feelings. I just wanted to go back to my dorm and sleep it all off.