Shades of Desire

Jace

The literary event was a mix of chatter and rustling pages, but all I could focus on was the weight of Norwegian Wood in my hands. I found solace in the familiar words, a distraction from everything swirling around me. I'd come here hoping to escape the noise of the world, but instead, I found Ivy.

Seeing her again stirred something in me I thought I'd buried. She approached with a tentative smile, and I felt my heart race. When she sat next to me and initiated a conversation about the book, it caught me off guard. I hadn't expected her to remember our last encounter, much less want to engage with me.

As we discussed the book, I felt a strange ease settle between us. I had always been drawn to the written word, and now, here was someone who seemed to appreciate it as much as I did. Her passion shone through as she spoke, and for a moment, it felt like we were two characters in our own story, free from the burdens of our pasts.

Then came the inevitable question: "Why did you leave just like that... in the frat house?"

Her confusion was palpable, and I couldn't help but smirk. I could ask her the same. She had left too, just like I had. But the moment she recognized me, I saw a flash of embarrassment cross her face. The memory of that night hit me hard, and I felt a pang in my chest.

When she apologized for being drunk and called it a mistake, it stung. It was a mistake to her, but to me, it had been a moment filled with connection and raw emotion. I wanted to reach out, to tell her it meant more than she realized, but I bit my tongue. I couldn't complicate things. Not with Ethan in the picture.

I couldn't help but wonder what their relationship was really like. Were they dating? It seemed like a casual thing at first, but the way he looked at her had a sense of possessiveness that made my gut twist. Did he know about that night? Did he care? I didn't want to be the one to stir up trouble, especially not for Ivy.

Her plea for me not to tell Ethan lingered in the air, heavy and charged. "Sure, don't worry," I replied, my tone light, but inside, I was wrestling with conflicting emotions.

Ivy smiled at me, and I felt my heart skip a beat. It was that genuine smile that had captivated me the first time. There was something about her that pulled me in, and I wanted to know more. But I was also painfully aware of the lines I shouldn't cross. I didn't want to be the reason for any drama in her life, especially not with Ethan, who seemed to genuinely care for her.

After exchanging goodbyes, I watched her leave, and my heart sank. She walked with a lightness that seemed to contrast with the heaviness I felt inside. I wanted to follow her, to call out her name and pull her back, but I knew I had to let her go.

I stared down at my book, the words blurring as I lost myself in thought. Why was I feeling this way? I hadn't allowed myself to feel in so long, and now, with Ivy, it felt like the walls I had built around my heart were starting to crumble.

What was it about her? I had always been the bad boy, the one who took risks, who gambled with life. But with Ivy, it felt different. I wanted to know her, not just as a fleeting moment but as something real. Something lasting.

But could I be that guy for her? Could I show her that there was more to me than just a bad reputation?

And what if she was happy with Ethan? I couldn't bear the thought of stepping in and complicating her life. But as much as I tried to push the thoughts away, I knew I was drawn to her in a way I couldn't ignore.

As I sat there, the noise of the event faded away, leaving only the sound of my own heartbeat echoing in my ears.

I needed to figure this out. I needed to see her again.