Lieutenant Garrett

Whole Again

Chapter Thirty-Three
Whole Again

Nicole

I tried hard not to worry about Ryan. I really did. But even though I had a ridiculously massive headache, I found myself almost unable to feel the pain of it over my worries.

What would Addison do?

What would happen to Chris?

What would happen to me?

I've lost enough of my family. Mum, both sets of grandparents, most likely Kyle, I can't lose Ryan too. He's my only brother now.

All of these thoughts played themselves over and over again in my mind. Like they were on a never ending carousel.

The nurses said that Ryan was still in surgery but I could go and see Kyle if I so desired. I needed to see him. Even if he was asleep when I got there, I needed to see him.

"Chris"

"Yeah honey?"

"I'm going to go and see Kyle"

"Okay. Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. Stay here with Addie and wait for news on Ryan. I shouldn't be too long"

"Okay. See you in a bit then?"

"Of course"

He kissed my forehead and I wandered down to Kyle's room which was on the trauma floor of the hospital.

The doctors said that I was fine and they cleared me to go home. Chris and I filled out the discharge papers a few hours ago so I could leave whenever I wanted to.

I reached for the door handle and hesitantly turned it. I pushed the big wooden door open and walked into the room. There lay Kyle. Absolutely out cold. With many different machines attached to him just as mum had been six months ago. It hurt me seeing him like this. He was never a fragile person. But that's all he was right now. It scared me seeing him so vulnerable and weak. He was always stronger than me in almost every possible way and now, he's weaker than me.

I moved slowly towards him and pulled a chair beside him. I reached into my pocket and grabbed the item I had found inside of the pocket of his jacket when Jay shot him. A dog tag necklace that had a female stick person on it. This was our sad attempt at friendship necklaces. I had a stickman, and he had a stickwoman. I made sure that after Chris and I filled out the papers, I went home to retrieve mine. When I got there, I saw that my dad was nowhere to be found. I shrugged, clasped the necklace around my neck and drove back to the hospital. Whether or not I should be driving was a whole other story but I didn't want to take Chris or Addison away from the hospital in case something happened with Ryan.

So here I was. Sitting in a chair in a private hospital room, grasping onto my best friend's necklace that we had gotten when we were five or so, desperately trying to choke back my tears in fear that I would break once again.

I held his hand in mine, and in my other hand, I held his necklace, with mine still hanging from my neck.

"Ky" I whispered.

"Ky" a little louder and a little more desperate this time.

"Ky" it now became a plea for him to wake up.

"What am I gonna do Kyle? Lena and Kara are leaving for college again, mum is gone, I don't know where dad is and Ryan could be dying. I can't lose you as well. I've lost too many people that actually care about me Kyle. Mum, grandma and grandpa Scott, grandma and grandpa Collins, Lena and Kara are thousands of miles away and have already turned on me once. I almost lost Chris, I might lose Ryan, but I can't lose you. You're my partner in crime. We're hit and then hide, fire and ice, Kit and Kat, peanut butter and jelly. Kyle, please don't leave me. I know we had a falling out after I left Jay. But I felt awful because I had been avoiding Jay and it turned out, I had been avoiding you too. I shut a lot of people out when we broke up. I needed time to move on. I guess I just thought I had lost you the way I had lost him. You tried so hard to help me, and I just shut you out. I didn't want to face you after doing something that awful to someone who didn't deserve any of it. But when you protected me from Jay that night at the party. I felt like all of that went away and we could go back to the way we were. I miss us together Kyle. I need my best friend back. Please. I love you"