Lieutenant Garrett

Candles and Macaroni

Chapter Thirty-Eight
Candles and Macaroni

I don't know what just happened. I mean, I just told Chris; the love of my life, that I was putting his life in danger and I walked out on him. Wait, where was I planning on going anyways? I just walked out of my house. I reached for my phone and began to dial the first number that came to my mind. I hadn't realized which number I had called until after about the tenth ring. I hung up the phone when no one picked up and took the phone away from my ear. Tears began to form in my eyes.

I dialed mum.

My mind went on auto-pilot once again and kept any sense of discernment out. The line began ringing into my ear.

"Hello?"

Oh my goodness.

"Is that you Nicole?"

I cannot believe that I was stupid enough to dial that number.

"Please answer me darlin' I know you're there"

I hung up. I called Chris. How could I be so oblivious? We fought literally thirty minutes ago.

I was currently driving to god knows where in the drivers seat of my Honda Civic. Where did I plan on going you may ask? I don't know. I was just driving wherever my car would take me.

It wasn't until about forty or so minutes later that I realized where I was driving off to. Jacobs Bay. Even though Chris and I were supposed to be enjoying a nice few days up there together starting today, I still found myself wanting to go; needing to go. Jacobs Bay was my happy place as a child. The world around me would vanish; and take my problems along with it. After three more hours of driving, I had reached my destination. I lifted my suitcase out of the trunk of my car and dragged it behind me along the gravel driveway. Mum, dad and I used to rent this cabin every summer when I was growing up but after dad left, mum decided to use some of the money she received during the divorce to buy it so that we could come whenever we wanted to. We used to come here three or four times during the summer until my junior year in high school when I began focusing more on my studies. I had planned on going to the college in Beckton, but when I met Chris, that quickly changed. A friend of Chris and Addison's ran the lawfirm in town and he was looking for a new secretary so Chris talked to me and I was more than happy to accept. I didn't start until September. I get pretty much the entire summer off and holidays, as well as a very healthy paycheck.

When I had got inside of the cabin, I set my suitcase down and unpacked a little before I began to make my way to the cove. Mum and I had found the cove the second or third summer that we came here. It was about a fifteen minute walk from the cabin but it was so worth it. The cove was breathtakingly gorgeous. It was a little cave that opened up at the end of it. It had two giant cliffs on either side of the opening and it overlooked the bay. The sun would set in perfect view over the horizon every night. I don't think that anyone else found it because every time mum and I would come down, no one but us were there. I didn't seem to notice it much back when I was a kid; but now I couldn't be happier that the only noise in this cove was the sound of the water hitting the rocks. All I wanted to be right now was alone with my thoughts.

When I reached my serene cove, I plopped myself down on the rocks and dipped my toes into the water. I put my hands on the rock behind me to hold myself up and I gazed over the bay. It was about six o'clock when the sun began to set. The sky lit up with bright oranges and vibrant red and pink tones bouncing off of everything the light could reach. My mind instantly drifted to what had happened earlier today. I leaned forward and put my head in my hands.

How could I push him away from me like that? Chris was pretty much all I had left in my messed up life. He stood by me through all of my crap. How could I let him go? You almost got him killed remember? Oh yeah. That's why. It wasn't my fault that Jay was crazy I guess. A tear slid down my cheek before I was interrupted by someone's voice.