Janes step-brother ~Byler~

twenty

I lost him out my eyesight but I didn't need to see him to follow him. I knew where he was already. Where we first had a conversation, where we had our first date.

The playground.

Once I walked up to the pealing gate I looked through it seeing Will staring down at the frozen grass under his feet while he sways backwards and forwards on the swing.

Walking in quietly with sudden movements. Yes treating Will like he's a fox is a good move right now.

He doesn't look up at me when every time I step on a leaf as it crunches under my feet. Walking closer to the swing I sat on the last time we were here -a couple days ago- he wanted to watch the sunset and I didn't hold back saying yes.

Grabbing the chain while I sit on the cold plastic looking over at him. He stopped swinging, his head was now picked up as he looked straight ahead off into the distance of the winder air.

Piles of smoke fall from his lips from the air, his hand in his pocket while the one closer to he rests on his thigh.

The feels towards Will lately have been making me really fucking confused. It has been driving me in-fucking-sane but I knew what was -is- I think now would be the perfect time to inform him.

He shouldn't have to worry about fucking Jane. I want him to know he's all I have eyes for. And there is no other way to prove it unless-

"I-I love you." The words slip out my mouth, tears already flowing into my eyes what I hold at bay. Will didn't even flinch at my words.

I'm just some kid who he kissed a couple of times. His step-sister's best friend. That's all what I am to him. I'm not his lover- I'm just a kid.

Will' head falls back down at he looks at his fingers on the hand on his thigh, his thumb stroking at them lightly. His head moves back up, no emotion, no tears, no nothing. Like he didn't fucking care that I just told him I loved him.

I love him.

Holy fuck I love Will fucking Byers.

"Will-"

"No." He snapped. His voice ringing through my ears. My tears gently stroll down my cheeks. Please tell me he feels the same.

I can't look stupid now.

But I can only go on.

"Will... I-i don't want- I don't want to be Janes boyfriend... I-i... I don't even know if I like... girls." I admit. I mean it was a dead given thing as I never really looked at girls the way I looked at Will. "Y-you're the first person I've ever felt something with, a c-connection and it's all happened so fast." I spill out.

His tone body just wants me to jump him every second I'm with him, to feel him next to me. To sleep in the same bed with him every god damn night I can. To feel his breathing at the neck of my neck every morning. To stare into those pools of honey looking down at me. He's all I ever wanted, all I ever fucking wanted but I can't have him. A small tear makes its way down my cheek.

He'll never be mine.

It was silent for a while until Will spoke up.

"I want to be with you Mike," His body turns to me, both his hands on this thighs now. His eyes locking with mine. "I love you too." My heart just jumped into my throat... or did it just fall out my ass? "B-but I can't. Not like this. Not with you and Jane- not if you have a thing for her or some shit-"

"I don't-"

"Mike please." That tone. That fucking tone just hurts hearing, it's was almost pleading with guilt, with hurt. I can't hurt him again. "I can't." His eyes found mine. "It all did move to fast but I cannot imagine not being with you Mike, I fell in love so fucking quickly with you it's unfair. It's unfair to feel all this fucking guilt just because I wanna be with you. To see you smile every damn day."

It fell into a cold silence where the tension was so fucking thick you could cut like it was fucking butter. I just wanted to move closer to him, to touch his cold skin. That's what I did but stopped when he moved his hand away. Between those legs. His skin was covered with chills as his skin started to turn purple.

"May you leave me alone? I want to be alone." He wasn't looking at me anymore, he found the grass more interesting.

It took me a few seconds to process the words but once I did I knew it's what he needed. To clear his mind.

Without a word I step up from the swing where my ass was wet from the thin layer of ice was sitting before me.

Looking back at Will for a brief moment. Head still in the grass while his hands hid in the pocket of his jeans.

Soon I turned away and made my way home.