Torn

Chapter 20

At the feeling of Niall gently giving me lovebites down my neck I opened my eyes. It was a beautiful morning and the sun shone brightly through our window. Niall had a playful twinkle in his eyes and the minute he saw that I was awake he threw himself at me, kissing my lips and pulling my body close to his bare chest. I let my hand run through his hair and dragged him even closer to me. I removed my hand from his hair and trailed it down his chest, letting my hand explore his belly, down to his v-line and then even further down. Niall gasped after air and put his bottom lip beteween his teeth. He let his hands run over my body, exploring every part of it. His blue eyes looked at me and that mysterious smile came upon his face. He leaned forward, but then right before he gave me a kiss I suddenly awoke.

I was in my room. Alone. No Niall, no sun streaming in through the window. Just darkness . Tears started to stream down my face. I tried to blink away my emotions along with the tears that blurred my vision but I didn't succeed. In the dream I had gotten a glimpse of the life I had had, the life I had thrown away. The thought of this made me cry even more. The pain in my chest which had appeared that day at Niall's apartment was still there. It was like it was there to constantly remind me of what I had lost. It hurt so much it made me scream. I screamed all I could and banged my hands on the head of the bed, trying to punch the pain out of my body. I hit the bed again and again but the pain in my chest didn't want to leave. The pain in my hands caused by the banging felt good, it made me feel alive. I punched harder and harder until the skin on my already battered knuckles started to bleed yet again. The next punch left a blood trace on the white bed head. I didn't care, I just wanted the pain to leave me.

Suddenly strong hands grabbed my arms coming between me and the bed head, preventing the next punch. My body started to shake as my muscles relaxed. I let my body fall back into Harry's safe arms. He brushed away the hair from my face and laid down both himself and me onto the bed. His arms were still around me, making me feel safe from all the pain in the world. He lifted my hands up and slowly dragged his fingers over my knuckles. His hand slowly found its way up to my cheeks where he wiped away the tears. He dragged me even closer to him and I could feel his breath on my neck. As I fell asleep with the sound of Harry's heartbeat in my ears, I wondered how Harry managed to do this almost every night. He slept in the room next to me and as soon as he heard that I was upset he was there to take my pain away. He protected me from the pain that came at night. My guardian angel.