Torn

Chapter 21

"Get up, Ash! You can't sleep away the entire day."

I pulled the blanket over my head and tried to ignore Harry. It didn't help because one second later Harry ripped the blanket off of me and started to shake me until I was wide awake.

"What time is it?" I said and slowly opened my eyes and let them get adjusted to the light.

"Almost four in the afternoon and I will not allow you to stay one more day in bed."

"I'm tired, let me be", I moaned and pulled back the blanket from Harry's grip.

"It's been two weeks, Ash. You can't spend your entire life in bed. Please, just go out for an hour or so. Just to get some fresh air and actually see that the world is still out there."

Harry looked at me with such sad eyes. I just couldn't say no to him and it felt like I owed him this. I dragged myself out of bed and into the bathroom.

Half an hour later I was standing in the hall waiting for Harry to be ready. I had put some makeup on and my long hair was up in a high ponytail. I looked more like a human being than I had done for the past two weeks. When Harry saw me, he smiled and I could see he liked to see me in something other than sweatpants for a change. He opened the door and walked out. I stood still at the door, not sure if I was ready for this. Harry saw the worry in my eyes and reached for my hand. He held it in a strong grip to let me know he was there for me. He slowly dragged me out of the house, not too fast but in my pace, still looking into my eyes, making sure he didn't force me to do anything.

For the first time in two weeks I felt the wind on my skin. I just stood there taking it all in. Then I smiled. I felt a little glimpse of happiness growing inside me for the first time in what felt like forever. We started to walk, down to the beach, and then we kept on walking. I didn't want to ever stop because it felt like if I stopped then maybe I wouldn't be able to start walking again and all the pain would come back. So we walked for hours. We didn't talk much. We didn't need to. Now and then Harry hugged my hand just to ensure me he was still there and not going anywhere.

When we were almost back home again, we met a large crowd of girls. They walked on the other side of the road and the minute they saw Harry and me they started to whisper.

Then suddenly one of them shouted:  "Wasn't one boy enough for you, tramp?!! You never deserved Niall in the first place!"

It was like the glimpse of happiness I had felt was just sucked out of my body as the girl's words echoed in my head. The pain in my chest was back and I had a hard time breathing. I had to get home again, back to safety. So I started to run. I could hear Harry screaming behind me but I didn't care. I needed to get home. I ran as fast as I ever have. I couldn't feel my legs anymore, but it didn't matter, I wanted to run away from the pain.

The minute I passed through the door my body gave up and I sat down on the floor, leaning against the wall. When Harry came in, I was still sitting on the floor trying to catch my breath. He walked past me and into the kitchen. When he came back, he had a radio with him and he put it down on the floor. He helped me up and I didn't fight him. He turned on the radio and took a strong grip around my waist helping me stand up.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"This is what I always do when I'm sad. You just have to lose yourself in the music. Let the music take over. Don't think, just dance, Ashley."

The smile so typical for Harry grew on his face as he turned the volume up even higher. He let go of me and started to dance. I can honestly say I have never seen anyone dance any worse than he did that day. I don't even know if you can call that dance. More like jumping around and waving his arms all around the room. I couldn't help laughing and once I'd started I couldn't stop. Harry started to laugh with me and took my hands making me dance with him. He led me all over the room, lifting me up in the air and whirling me around. Just being the silly him, the silly Harry, who always managed to make me smile. I laughed like I hadn't done for weeks. The music really took over and brought back that glimpse of happiness into my body.

Suddenly we fell down on the floor and ended up just laying there. Me on Harry's chest as he pulled his fingers through my hair. His heartbeat thudded in my ears making me calm. I ran my fingers along his cheek and felt his stubble under my fingers, a light tickling sensation. I opened my mouth, then closed it again because I didn't know how to say what my heart was feeling. After a while I managed to put words to my feelings.

"I miss him. It feels like a piece of me is missing and without that piece I just can't function. I need that piece, Harry, I just need it. I need Niall."

"I know, Ashley, I know. You two are meant to be."