Torn

Chapter 19

I wish I could say that I was fine. That I had moved on. That I was a strong independent girl who didn't need a man or that the breakup had made me realize I wanted Harry and we were now living happily ever after. But I can't because then I would be lying and I have learned from recent experiences never to lie. No, I had not moved on. I had fallen apart and I still hadn't found a way to put the pieces back together.

I had spent the last week in bed feeling sorry for myself, which was something I didn't deserve. Because I deserved every tear and every painful emotion. In the beginning I had tried to do something with the time I spent in bed. I went on Twitter a couple of times which was a bad idea. Everyone had seen the picture. There was hate towards me, a lot of hate. No, a lot doesn't cover it. My whole Twitter was full with tweets which said one worse thing after another. But I think I deserved that as well. They were just protecting Niall. They were protecting him because I had hurt him. I had hurt the guy who would never hurt me. I had hurt the person I loved more than life.

My friends and family had come to try to cheer me up, but it didn't work because all I wanted to see in the doorway was that shaggy, blonde hair and that mysterious smile. I thought Niall was the only one who could fix my broken heart but I also thought that would never happen. I had called and texted him the whole week without any answer. But I wasn't surprised about that. What surprised me was that Harry hadn't been in touch. Even if I didn't want him to. Maybe Niall and Harry had gotten into a big fight. That was my worst nightmare. That I would be the reason such good friendship would be over.

Suddenly my phone went off. I picked it up and the strong light from the phone made me squint and it felt like I had gone blind. I really thought I had when I saw who had texted me. I couldn't believe it. Niall. Niall had texted me, the first sign of him even being alive for over a week. My hands started to sweat and I had to take a moment before I was ready to open the text. I gasped for air when I saw how long the text was. I got a lump in my throat, this couldn't be good. Maybe it was a goodbye text, maybe he never wanted to see me again. I summoned the courage I needed to start reading.

 "Even though we're not together anymore, I can't stand the thought of you hurting. Your mom called me and told me how you have been doing. I'm so sorry, Ash, but I'm not ready to see you yet. You hurt me and I think if I look into your beautiful eyes I would forgive you for everything in an instant and for my own good I don't want to do that. My heart wants to but my mind knows that I shouldn't. I have sent you the person I trust the most to take care of you. Because I know I can't find a person who cares about you more than he does. I know you won't understand but I'm not mad at him or you. I'm just hurt. Let him cheer you up and maybe someday when I'm ready we can meet again, Ashley, maybe someday.  Love, Niall, forever your prince"

As I tried to understand the text and whom Niall meant should take care of me, my door bell rang. I got out of bed and dragged myself down the stairs. Still totally occupied by the text I opened the front door and almost fell backwards when I saw who was standing there. Harry. It was Harry Niall had meant. I couldn't understand why but at the sight of Harry and because of the text I had just received tears started to run uncontrollably down my face.

Harry looked at me with such sad eyes and said: "I don't want to see you like this and I hate myself because I know I'm the one who has put you in this situation. Even though I still want you with all my heart, I'm here as a friend, Ash. I'm here to fix everything."

He stepped in and wrapped his arms around me. I buried my face in his shoulder and let all my feelings out as I breathed in that familiar scent of Harry. In that moment that was exactly what I needed, the sort of hug which makes you believe everything is going to be alright in the end.