Letters I wrote you

The truth

Dear  Jane,

Sorry for not being here today,

Sorry for dropping this letter on you and leaving just like that, as if all this was easy.

I'm going to tell you the truth, the whole truth.

Sorry I lied, so sorry, but I wasn't ready to tell you the truth.

 And you weren't ready to hear it.

But that isn't an excuse. I should have told you.

I'd understand if you'd be mad at me, just want you to know that I'm truly sorry.

I know your secret, I discovered it long ago. Those kind of things don't go unnoticed. I saw your wrists and I already knew the rest.

That is my secret, I knew him, I knew Jarred before we even met.

He was a friend of mines, one of my best. We where in the same squad and we've known each other for years.

He told me about you, stories, so many stories. He loved you so much Jane, you where everything for him. While we where trapped there in that retched place for months, you where his reason to live. He tried to cling on, even when those bullets took the best of him, he tried because he had to see you just one more time, because he had promised you he'd come back. When he left us, you became my reason. I had amission you see. I was the message carrier. I was to make sure you where alright, but I failed miserably. If it hadn't been for Nora,you'd be dead. But I promise never to let that happen again.

When I first saw you that Saturday, I recognized you immediately. You where just as he'd described, magnificent. It was hard to approach you though. Like a rose trapped by her own spikes.

The day of the funeral I was there, you don't remember but I was there. I even tried to talk to you but your eyes where so lost, your mind was far far away.

So I went back, every Saturday to that place, to see you and one day you just stopped going.

Ididn't know what to do, I didn't know where to find you . I kept coming cause maybe you'd come back. I did some researches and got your address but I was never able to summon the courage to ring the bell.

Later when I had started to think you where never coming back, you stated to come again. Then we crossed paths at that book shop you workedat. You didn't look to keen on talking at the beginning but I'm glad you did because we wouldn't have became friends without it. I saw your writs and even though you told me lies I wasn't going to insist,I was hiding things myself.

We got to know each other better, and add that to what I already knew of you only made me more and more sure that I really liked you Jane, and sometimes I feel so hopeless because you just don't seem to get the hint.

At the beginning it felt weird to think of you like this, that's true,because I had always seen you as Jarred's girl but you weren't anymore. And I really liked you, it wasn't a thing I could stop.

It had hurt me when you had invited that other guy on a date with you,because I was finally starting to think that maybe just maybe you where getting the hint, even if it had been hard for you to move on and get over him, you maybe even liked me back. But that made me feel like I had made a complete fool of myself. I was angry at you and atmyself for the entire week. But it wasn't your fault it was mines for being so jealous, after all you had the right to do whatever you wanted. When you finally told me the truth I was so relieved you have no Idea. I just felt like anything was possible again, and things were.

So here you are reading this letter, and the truth is Jane that I'm now totally and completely in love with you. You chose what you want todo with that, It's your choice. I just needed you to know.

And now here it is, with this letter is something I should have given you long ago.

Jarred's last letter to you

I hope you can forgive me for waiting so long.

-Tim