Letters I wrote you

Twenty

Another week,

just like all the others,

full of fake smiles,

how could I ever be truly happy without you?

Nora's still here,

It's nice she's still here,

she's my rock,

I don't know how I could continue without her,

but as she's here,

I have to be strong for her

I can't let her down

Because, she's here for me,

and I want to thank her for that

for all she's done for me,

when I wasn't there for her

I was a bad friend

but so was she.

But now all is better,

we've solved our problems

We both had said things we shouldn't have,

once it was all said,

we were done.

I'm so glad we're back together again,

I missed her more then I had though,

I missed her more then what I let myself feel,

Two people can't be friends for years and then become strangers without them both suffering but pretending not to care

And I guess I was to proud to apologize when I had the chance,

So I let it slip like water through my fingers.

How I have regretted that mistake

And now I'll never let her go,

cause she's my sister

my true sister,

not by blood but by heart

I'll never let her go again,

And I'm pretty sure she's thinking the same thing

I might not be whole,

but at least I have someone

By the way, I saw Tim again this week, we crossed paths at the book store

I saw him there last week too.

Any way, I never really explained, did I? The bookstore

Well it isn't just an ordinary book store, it has a café part

so you can just buy a book then sit there and take a coffee or something

or even eat some pastries,

sometimes people just come for the café, ignoring the book's or the contrary

it's sad really, because books and drinks match so well...

But, I'm going off subject,

So I saw Tim reading while drinking something,

( hot chocolate, and we both had to agree that the cook made some of the best we had ever tasted, and that hot chocolate was in fact one of the best winter drinks ever,

on that we will never agree, you always preferred coffee...sadly)

So as I was saying, I saw him, but I didn't make any attempt to approach him because I didn't feel like it,

the next day there he was again, and this time he had spotted me,

and waved me to come, but I just pretended not to notice.

Finally on Thursday, I couldn't avoid the inevitable

so after my book shop shift,

I sat down on the seat next to him, as he had asked.

At first, he didn't even realize I was there, so I just sat there watching him read the book he was so concentrated on, "The book thief". Personally, I han't read it, yet, but I was planning to.

It was cute, the little crest on his forehead when he was trying to concentrate, his light brown hair messy on his forehead, unlike yours that was a darker shade of brown. He was also a little younger, at least it seemed so, he was probably around twenty-three, that would make him two years younger then me.

He was handsome, not as man-ish as you, nor had he such a big posture but still, I couldn't help but find him attractive.

 And then it hit me, how could I ever think that,

I never want to replace you,

I never will or could ever love anybody else the way I love you

I don't even want to think about it,

I'm so sorry, I don't know what go into me.

Well, there, so he finally realized I was there,

we chatted,

he doesn't know my story, nor my luggage,

but neither do I his,

It seems to me that we both think it's best that way

so we chat, about everything, but nothing to concrete at the same time.

I saw him on Friday again, then here he was on Saturday.

I didn't wait for you,

like I said I would,

like I said I always would,

but you're not going to magically appear,

so I won't be waiting,

but I'll still write,

It, well, it just makes me feel better,

like a journal, but only it isn't.

Not, like you'll ever read this anyway

Till next letter

-Jane