Letters I wrote you

Seventeen

I've been strong,

I haven't cried in a week,

I've missed you,

I really have,

And I've suffered

but I won't let it show

I don't want to worry Nora

I don't want her to think I'm still destroyed.

I want to show her I'm trying to rebuild myself

I want her to trust me again,

Because it's like she's always scared I'll do something,

And I understand her

But I won't do anything

not anymore,

I don't want to disappoint anyone

and I don't want to die anymore,

I want to live,

But it still hurts

your absence,

and I don't think it'll ever heel,

but at least It's not everything

I have anymore,

It's amazing how sometimes it's hope that keeps you floating

but then suddenly It's what drowns you

killing you slowly inside,

destroying the rope you hold on to,

until you don't have anything stopping you anymore,

and you do the unforgivable.

Hope is strong but it's also dangerous,

I won't let it be my only rope anymore,

I've learned my lesson.

Sorry not to have understood earlier

-Jane