Poison and Passion

Chapter 32

Srishti

I woke with a deadly hangover. I hate this. I can't even drink to my heart's content.

After two to three glasses, I am done. I start crying. The grief I buried deep inside me bursts out.

Arthur is the last person I want to talk to about my life details. I find him the least trustable person in this house. He looks cunning and calculative.

I am sick and tired of constantly diverting my mind from my problems. I don't want to just go with the flow anymore. I want to put an end to my troubles and live freely.

Every time I look at Rebecca, Carolina, Rumi or Mahika living their life, fighting for their love or their career, it makes my life feel wasteful. I neither have a love life nor a career.

I always pretend nothing is wrong with my life and act all carefree but it shatters me.

I will talk it out with Arthur. I don't want to just live, I want to LIVE, live.

I got down the bed and rushed to Arthur's study. It is four in the morning, he might be sleeping but I don't care.

I barged into his room and found him sleeping peacefully on his bed.

I pulled the blanket off him. He slowly opened his eyes and stared at me to explain what I was doing.

"Divorce me as soon as you get what you want from me." I went straight to the point.

"No," he said and closed his eyes.

I couldn't bear the frustration and burst into tears. Crying was all I could do since I can't kill him.

Why won't he listen to me? I am not asking for his entire fortune, I am just asking for a divorce.

He sat up casually.

I cried inconsolably. I feel so helpless and useless. I don't want to live this way. I feel caged and tied down.

I want to find out what I want to do with my life. I can't spend the rest of my life hoping for a better tomorrow, I need to work to make my tomorrow better.

My life is in replay mode, repeating each day similar to the day before.

He walked to me.

"Sit," he said in his cold voice. Will it kill him to be a little kinder to a crying woman? I am his wife, technically.

I disobeyed him. I stood still in my place and continued crying.

"Sit," he said harsher than before.

"No," I refused to listen to his commands.

He forcefully made me sit on the bed.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"I...l don't know." I have no idea what I want but I don't want this current lifestyle.

"Do you want to learn how to shoot?" he asked pulling a chair and sitting in front of me.

"No," I said.

I did want to learn shooting because I didn't want to feel left out but I have no interest in it.

"Do you want William to be your private tutor?" he asked.

That would be nice but no. Him teaching me for an hour or two per day is ample.

"No," I said sniffing.

He sighed.

Why did he sigh? He finds me annoying, I knew it. He is a jerk.