Private Life is a happy life

39- Only Love Can Hurt Like This

LUCY POV

I awoke to find myself in my room, last night flashed into my mind but I wanted to forget it. I looked around my room, the bed next to me was empty, where's Lando? Max and George are on my floor.

I pulled a shirt on and walked downstairs, to see if I could see Lando, he wasn't there either. My presents were still piled high and the place looked tidy, my photo of us all was on my wall, I smiled.

I looked to see who I could find, Valterri and Lewis were on one of my couches and Yuki was on the other, but still no Lando. I decided to try call him, I got voicemail. I sent him a message, but it didn't go through as an iMessage. I tried not to over think it, but I started thinking he blocked me. The last I received from him, was all the pictures taken last night. Valterri woke up, "Ah, good morning Lucy, hope you don't mind but I thought I'd tidy, can I make you a coffee?" He gave me a warm smile. "Awe Val, that's lovely of you, thank you."

Lewis and Yuki woke up, Lewis joined me for a coffee, as Daniel, Pierre, Charles and Max down. "Last night was mad, you really know how to party Lucy." Lewis said, "And you guys know how to keep a secret." I smiled back. "How is the birthday girl?" Max said and gave me a hug, "Yeah, I'm okay." Charles and Max looked at me, "Lu, what happened?" Max asked. "Nothing...Just I woke up this morning and Lando wasn't there, I tried calling and messaging, but he's blocked me." I could feel tears. Max hugged me again, "I'm sure he hasn't Lu, he just might not have wifi." He didn't sound convincing.

I walked out to the pool, I got messages thanking me for last night, but everyone had gone, except Max, Charles and George. Charles joined me. "Lewis, Valterri and Yuki have left." He sat next to me. "So It's just us 4." I didn't feel like talking, I just felt sick, I knew I overdid it last night. I sat looking through the photos, he only sent me the nice ones, so thoughtful. He sent a really nice photo of me and him with Charles, George, Max and Carlos, I set it as my background.

"Would you like me to try call him?" Charles seemed worried too, "It will just prove I'm blocked." I dangled my feet in the water, Charles pulled his phone out anyway and called him, it rang, Lando answered, I shook my head taking not to say I was here. "Hiya Mate, just wondering where you are. Don't want Lucy to worry when she wakes up." My heart was racing, he put his phone on loud speaker. "Ermmm, I'm just out atm." My heart sank. "You're not gonna tell me when you are?" I could hear the slight annoyance. "I'm nowhere, why do I need to answer to you anyway?" "Well because, once your girlfriend realises you're not here, it's going to be me picking up the pieces again." He sounded hurt. "Yeah well, she's not my girlfriend, I never actually asked her out." This wasn't my Lando. "You just can't help hurting her can you? She's sat right here, in tears, waiting for you to come back."

There was silence for a few seconds, realisation setting in. "Lando?" I said. "Lucy..." There was pain in his voice. "Please come back, I'm sorry for whatever I did, I need you, I...I love you." My throat hurt from holding back tears, begging him to say it back, he was silent, "Goodbye, Lucy." He ended the call, I couldn't back my tears anymore. These past few weeks, had none of it mattered? Defending me to my dad, taking me to meet his family, gifting me this house and my car. My whole heart shattered, our song replayed in my head, so much for taking my heart and not breaking it.

Why was he doing it? Was this about last night? I know he feels useless sometimes and like he can't protect me, but he does protect me, I need him. "Charles, I'm gonna be sick." He took me to the sink as it was the closest thing. He held my hair back, Max rubbed my back and turned the tap on to clear it up as it came up. "Lu, you need to calm down." Max said, "How can I calm down, when all the men in my life do is hurt me or leave me?" I started crying again. "Charles doesn't want me, Lando doesn't want me, my own dad doesn't want me!" My sadness was turning to anger. "What did I do wrong?" Max was offended, "How about your words, leading up to me getting into bed with George?" He put his head down. I stepped away from the sink, I saw all the presents stacked. "You guys want to help me go through them?" I pointed.

They lead me to the couch and we all tackled a pile, I had the ones from Lando's family, him and my 4 boys. We spent 2 hours opening them all, I left Lando's and his families until the end. It was mainly charms that everyone else gifted, all something personal to them, they were lovely, my bracelet filled very quickly. When I got to Max's, he'd bought me a new rose gold one, I put my boys charms on the new one and left the other drivers on my other one. The boys had also bought me shoes, makeup, clothes perfume and their merch. I thanked them all and hugged them, they had all put so much thought into them.

I sat looking at Lando's and his parents. I opened Lando's first, one was a beautiful necklace, with an amethyst charm, my favourite stone. Another was a charm with the number 4, his racing number. He'd bought me a rose gold Apple Watch to match my phone. The final one, was his signed race helmet from Bahrain, the first time I saw him race. He'd also got me a few hoodies to stop me stealing his and a bottle of his aftershave so I could smell him if we were ever apart. I held my tears back.

His parents, were so thoughtful with theirs. They'd gifted me an entire collection of Charles Dickens, some trainers I'd been wanting and a card with their contact details, saying how lovely it was to meet me and how happy me and Lando looked. "Can we just watch movies?" I asked. "Sure, Lu." We spent the rest of the day and the next, watching movies, before we had to go to the next race, my first as a mechanic.