Scarred {completed}

Chapter 25

I took my head off of the steering wheel after talking to myself. I looked up at Louis then to Julia, Amber, and Harry. I turned back around and shook my head; I took a deep breath in. I shook my head again and got out of the car, the boys and Amber and Jules followed. Immediately I heard questions being thrown at us and news reporters talking to their cameras. Nothing was said. We all kept quiet and continued into the church. This all felt so surreal, like it wasn't actually happening; like this is all a dream. How I wish it was only a dream. It was peaceful in the church with no bombarding questions, just the Derrils in the front room.I just went up to them and gave them each a long hug. Louis and Harry just sat down at a bench along with Julia and Amber. "I'm so sorry, about all of this. About everything." I said looking Mr and Mrs in the eye sincerely. "I know honey, I know. No need to worry, I called the police this will all be fine. Don't worry" said Mrs Derrils. I shook my head knowing that she genuinely meant it, that everything really would be fine. "I know that you didn't mean for this to happen. I just wish I was there to say goodbye" Donny was crying and wrapped his arms around me. "I know, I'm sorry Donny. I am so sorry" I hugged him back crying slightly myself. Donny then went to the girls on the bench. Mr. Derrils was standing there staring at me, I could feel him intensely looking at me. His statue-like stare was very creepy and uncomfortable."You know what Marrissa? I'm done with you being so selfish. You randomly moving in with us-" Mr. Derrils started. "But I had no where to go, my mother died and you call me selfish?" He completely disregarded my comment and kept rambling on. "You taking away Sam's life! You know you're the one who basically murdered her!" "Jacob!" said Mrs. "You've been so selfish ever since i met you! And now you decided to take it out on my daughter and your supposed 'best friend'?!?! You know our family is falling apart because of you! All because of you Marrissa! A selfish son of a bitch!" I was drowning in my tears and Mr Derrils face was cherry red. Mrs was standing there in awe of what her husband was saying.I could feel everybody on the bench staring at me. "I think it should be you in that coffin! It should be you dead instead of Sam!! You should be dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!" "Jacob Derrils!" Mrs was now outraged and I couldn't stop crying. I heard Donny crying behind me. I could just feel my face becoming red and I started shaking. "Dead! Marrissa, dead!" Then Louis came next to me an held me but I kinda shook him off. "And then you being the selfish motherfucker you are, you bring along your two insanely famous 'friends' to a private funeral!!! Do you not understand how selfish that is?! Drawing attention to something like this?!" "Look, Mr Derrils, Marrissa didn't want us to come. She knew this would happen but me and Harry came to support Marrissa. We love and care about her we just-" Louis said being firm with his words. But I could hear shakiness in his voice also.I looked at him and he had glassy, watery eyes. "See?! You're all selfish!!! You know what though Marrissa?!?! You're the worst person in this world!! You deserve to die and you don't deserve love!!! You deserve nothing but death! Go fuck yourself and die, will ya?!?!?!?!" At that point Mr went outside. I felt so fragile like I could break at any moment. I basically fell into Louis' chest. I was crying so hard I couldn't stop. I felt so drained, so weak. Louis wrapped his arms around my body and I put my head on his shoulder. My eyes were closed, I didn't want to see anything. But I opened my eyes to endure the pain. Julia and Amber were on the bench crying, Harry trying to calm them down but I saw the tears in his eyes too. Mrs Derrils and Donny were in the corner of the room. Mrs was sitting on the floor with Donny in her lap. I felt terrible, they were both crying.Donny looked so frail too. This whole surrounding just made me feel worse. It mad me cry harder this time fully giving in and just dropping all of my body weight onto Louis. He kept me standing and I wrapped my arms around his neck and dug my head deeper into the crook of his neck. His grip got tighter around me and he started rubbing my back. "Shh...we'll get through this together. Everything will be fine" he said softly and quietly in my ear. "I'm so tired of hearing that over and over again. Just stop giving me false hope. Not everything can be a dream, I'm living a reality Louis." "But we'll still get through this together. I'll strive to make everything fine, to make it a dream for you" "You already have. And you know how they say the sky's the limit?" "Yeah." "I feel like this is the sky for me, having you in my life. You're my dream and the rest is reality and I just have to face it." "If only we could go a little farther. To shoot for the stars and never stop until we get there." Me and Louis just stood there, I was trying to calm down."Marrissa, do you mind if we could go over what we will give to you? Julia and Amber too." Mrs Derrils came over. I stood apart from Louis," sure." Me, Amber, Julia, Louis, Harry, an Donny went into a room. We were all told what we were going to be given and took a seat in the church. The service started and Mr. Derrils came back. He sat with his immediate family two rows in front of us. I was sat next to Louis, Julia was next to me and Harry was in between Julia and Amber. During the service I cried only a small amount, it felt like my eyes were already emptied out. Julia and Amber cried a lot though and we all comforted them. After the service I spoke to Mrs Derrils and Donny privately. The girls and Harry and Louis conversed with the rest of the family. "Marrissa, you know Jacob didn't mean anything he said. He loves you and you know that. And I love you, ok sweety?" "Ok, Mrs. Derrils. Love you too." I gave her a hug and kiss.Me and Donny were left alone. "Marrissa?" "Yes Donny." I sat down on the floor and Donny sat across from me, I didn't care about my dress getting ruined. "My dad didn't mean those things. And I know he's a butt head sometimes but he cares about you. He asks about you all the time." "Really?" "Yeah. I think it's kinda weird. But I just want you to know that I forgive you for anything you ever did. And that I love you Marrissa, as a sister. Not as a girlfriend. That would be gross, bleh" he stuck out his tongue. "I forgive you too Donny and I miss being with you. And I love you too." I leaned over and gave him a big hug and kiss on both cheeks.We got up and I picked him up. "I just wanna take you home, I never wanna let you go Donny!" I squeezed him a little. He giggled, "don't do that, I'm gonna pee!" "We don't want that, now do we?" I have him another kiss on his cheek, he's too adorable. He defiantly brightened my day. Louis came over to us. "It's adorable seeing you with children. Hi Donny" Louis gave him a hi five. "Hi Louis!" "How do you know his name Donny?" "Julia and Amber told me all about him and how he's so nice and awesome! And how he's your boyfriend, ew." "Ew, that's gross" I said sticking my tongue out at Louis, he did it back. "C'mon Donny, it's time to go!" Mrs Derrils yelled from the doorway I the other side of the room. I put Donny down and he just came right back to me and surrounded me in a hug. "I don't want to leave. I'll miss you too much Marrissa!" "I'll miss you too Donny. But guess what?" I looked at him. "What?" a smile grew on his face. "I'll talk to you everyday on the computer, ok?" "Ok!!" he hugged me again. "I love you Marrissa!" "I love you too Donny!" I gave him in last kiss and he ran to his mom.

I stood up from my crouched position and faced the girls and boys. "Ready to go guys?" I asked walking towards the door. "Seems like you have a little boyfriend there" Harry said. "Yeah, I just might have to take care of him" Louis said jokingly punching his fist into his hand. "Yeah, he's," Amber said in between sobs," really cute." "Come here babe" I said and gave her a hug. I did the same to Julia when I saw her crying. We got to the car and drove home. When we got back I went straight into my bed with Louis. Every single word that Mr. Derrils said stung into my head. 'Son of a bitch' 'selfish' 'motherfucker' 'go fuck yourself and die' 'die' 'die' 'die' But then I realized that I have more to live my life for, my friends and Donny. Donny is like my little man, my little rock that I can always depend on. The one that is always there. I've got Louis for that too of course but Louis will not be as adorable as a little kid. And that's what I have Donny for. "I love you Louis, and I always will."