Birds of a Feather book 2
Childhood best friends who fought hard to be where they are today. Now married with a young son, the pressure of family life and racing in f1 finally starts to cause cracks.
The fight is on. Fighting for the world champion...
I didn't mean to push Max away, I just didn't want him to think that I'm falling to pieces without him. I also don't want him to feel like he has to help me because he doesn't. How is he going to find the time to help me when he lives in Monaco and travels around the world? He isn't. Noah has been really unwell this week. He's had a temperature that's been through the roof and his chest sounds awful. He's been so up and down, one minute he's running around and the next he's incredibly pale and lay on the sofa. I've looked after many sick children over the years but it's different when it's your own child that you're caring for. The doctor gave us antibiotics for a chest infection and so far they seem to be doing the trick. He's back to his yapping, chaotic self and I've never been more happier to see him chasing the cats around the house. However I am exhausted. I have hardly slept the last few days one because I've been checking Noah's still breathing every 5 minutes and two, his cough has woken up everyone in the house but himself. Plus I swear he's passed on his germs as usual, I feel run down, sick and like I've aged 50 years over night. Pass me the Botox I swear to god. Inject me now.
Max has been checking in everyday asking how Noah is, I know he feels guilty for not being here, especially when Noah is sick so I have downplayed it a little bit. It's not my job to make him feel worse than he already does. Part of me wishes he was here with us because it's so hard doing this alone. Don't get me wrong I am used to it but we don't even have him coming home to us anymore and I fucking hate it. I feel incredibly lonely and incredibly isolated. Yes I have my mum but it's not the same as having Max. Max was someone I could talk to about anything. He would always make me feel better, he'd make me laugh when I didn't feel like laughing and he would always support me when I needed him most. That's the Max I miss, the Max that I've grown up with, the one that would always put the people he cares about above everything else. The Max I've seen recently is a completely different person and I don't like it.
Max is already in Belgium but he isn't seeing Noah until tomorrow as it's Sophie's birthday today so he's spending the evening with her. Today is also Angie's birthday so we are out tonight to celebrate. I don't want to go, I still feel like death and the thought of alcohol makes me want to vomit. Noah is right as rain now, after clearly passing his germs onto his loving mother instead. If Noah was still unwell I wouldn't be going. I'm staying for one drink and then I'm heading home. I say this but once I'm out I don't know when to go home. I literally am the last one standing and have to be dragged away from the dance floor. I need to not be hungover tomorrow because Max and I have to come to a mutual agreement on where to celebrate Noah's birthday. Don't even get me started on who we're inviting. Half his family don't like me anymore and quite frankly I don't like them either. We have to invite P, who I adore but then that includes inviting her mother. I've tried to convince Noah to say that he wants a holiday instead of a party but he's not taking me on. He wants a cat themed party apparently and who am I to deny him that?
Izzy Verstappen
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angiebaert: Love you!!! 🥰❤️ jennymarquez: 🥰🥰 landonorris: Look how everyone else's glasses are full and yours is empty. Never change 👌😂 izzyverstappen: @landonorris hahahaha trust you to notice. It's been a hard week ok! 😂
Coming out to a bar after looking after a sick child all week wasn't one of my best ideas. Three drinks in and I feel like I've had 50. The bar is busy, Angie has left me to talk to some guy and I'm stood by the bar trying to fend off any man that comes within 3 feet of me. Don't get me wrong they're not all creeps some have been lovely but the thought of being with anyone other than Max creeps me out. Which is shocking considering we're not even together anymore. I'm going to die a sad old lady with my two cats because I got divorced after 4 years of marriage. Shocking. That's Max's fault and do you know what, he needs to know that. I grab my phone out of my bag whilst trying to juggle my two drinks in my hand. I ring his phone and he answers straight away. Shit I didn't think this through. "Hello? Are you okay? What's wrong?" I stay silent for a minute just sipping my drink like I wasn't the one who called him. "Iz do you need help? Fucking hell answer me are you okay?" I do need help yes. Psychiatric help. "Yeah sorry I'm fine wait no I'm not fine, I said I was but I'm not." Max goes silent on the other end of the phone before I hear him let out a deep breath. "Trust me, I know you're not fine, where are you?" I look around and Angie isn't anywhere to be seen. "I'm in a bar but I'm going home now because I feel like I'm about to throw up everywhere." I can hear Max moving around on the other end of the phone. "Stay where you are. Don't move I'll be with you in ten minutes and Izzy if I get there and you've gone, I swear to god I will find you and you'll wish that I didn't." I laugh as I sit down at the bar. "Ooo don't threaten me with a good time." I know Max is probably stressed right now but I don't care. Welcome to my world Verstappen. "This isn't funny. I mean it stay there, I'll be there soon. I love you." I put the phone down as I stagger my way outside and sit down on the wall. What a silly woman I am. I could have rang anyone but I had to ring Max. Force of habit. He's always been the person I ring when I need help. I should have rang Frank. Old step dad Frank. Bless him he'd have had a heart attack.
I'm sat on the wall swinging my legs as a figure appears in front of me. I look up to find Max glaring down at me. "Where the fuck is Angie? Did she think it was a good idea to leave you on your own in a bar full of strangers?" I shake my head as I take his hand "She met somebody and who am I to cock block my best friend on her birthday. Anyway, I've been on my own all week with a sick child. Our sick child." He grabs me around the waist pulling me into his side as he guides me towards the car. Opening the door and sitting me inside. "I know that and I'm sorry, if I could have been there I would have been." I stare out of the window as he starts driving us down the road. "I could have gone home with anyone tonight but I didn't and do you know why? Because they weren't you. Ha I'm going to die alone Max. Noah will leave me just like you have and I'll be a sad lonely old woman." I can see Max clench his jaw as he grips onto the steering wheel. "Don't ever say that. Noah will never leave you and you know it, he loves you more than anyone. Even more than he loves me. As for me, I never want you to be with anyone other than me. We're meant to be together, despite all the shit we've been through. It's still always going to be me and you, whether you like it or not." He's right. There's never been anyone for me other than Max. How the fuck we're going to get back to the way we were before I don't know but it's not going to happen over night. Max pulls up outside my mums house as I get out of the car and head inside. I know I'm going to regret my life's choices tomorrow morning, especially when I'm woken up by a three year old yapping little ray of sunshine.
I wake up with the worst headache I've ever experienced and this is the first time I've been sick through having a hangover. Noah is currently sat beside me eating his breakfast and the smell of his pancakes is knocking me sick. "What did you drink last night? You're never sick even when you've drank your whole body weight in gin tonics." My mums looking at me with a disapproving look on her face as she hands me a glass of water and some painkillers. "Just the usual, I only had four drinks but I think I've caught Noah's bug so that might be it." My mum stares at me as she looks at Noah before mouthing the words. "Are you pregnant? You were like this before you found out you were having Noah." I shake my head after almost choking on my drink. "No absolutely not. I've just got a bug and that mixed with gin tonics hasn't done me any favours. I'll be fine after a shower. Can you watch Noah for me? Max will be here soon." My mum smiles and nods her head giving me a look that says she doesn't believe a word I've said. Trust me I don't believe myself either. Inside I'm having a fucking panic attack. I can't have another baby, not now. Not even any time soon. I will not cope on my own raising a baby and looking after Noah. I might not even be pregnant. I'm not going to be. I know I'm not. I'm going to do what I do best and block this out for now. I have Max to contend with today and that's enough to finish anyone off. Fuck my life. When am I ever going to catch a break?
