𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗥

𝘉𝘖𝘙𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘔𝘈𝘕🚩

"Sunghoon can we talk?" I asked him standing in the doorway of his study.

After cleaning myself up,
I found Sunghoon in the bar downstairs nursing a Rum and coke.

Part of me expected him to be
somewhere with Wonyoung.Attentively listening to her blab about how she was a former gymnast and how far she could drop down into a split. But no
I found him alone and that gutted me.

I was officially the antagonist in our relationship.

The person with the fault big enough to end our marriage. The way he looked at me had me wanting to cry. He was hurt.

Fucking Ruka the morning after was
one thing but allowing it to happen again while Sunghoon waited for me was cruel and low.

It was the lowest of the low.

This thing with Ruka had escalated from bad to worse in a matter of hours, and I knew that if I didn't tell Sunghoon the truth it would only get worse.
I could see it exploding from a mile away.

"Please, Sunghoon." I urged.

He huffed an exaggerated breath. Sunghoon looked away from his computer then to me.

"Now you want to talk?" He asked. His voice was laced with fury. "You didn't want to talk when I asked you back at the club. You didn't want to talk at dinner. Now you want to talk while I'm working. I have a deadline." he said acidly.

He had a point but I couldn't let that stop me.

"There's a lot need to tell you. I wanted to come to you with a clear head."
I explained.

He turned his attention back to his computer. "Pharita, I'm working. Alright? Maybe later."

"What I have to say is important. If I don't tell you now I'm afraid I never will. " My voice was a whine fear and guilt had wrapped itself around my throat.

"I don't have time."

His eyes was scrolling over the text of his web page before he finished speaking and I knew that was his way of checking out of our conversation.

"You don't have time for anything anymore! I'm knocking my head against the table begging for your attention and you just look the other way. Instead of giving me your undivided time and attention you passed me off to someone else."

The fact that he hadn't looked up from his screen made me furious.

"I understand that you're angry with me for changing my mind about Ruka. I know you expected me to say no but I'm a flesh and blood woman. I feel deprived in this marriage."

And you kept pushing. And Ruka and I connected And she does everything you don't.

She doesn't treat me like a flower and she says what she means. She pays attention to me. And she can fuck, and I needed it,

I needed it more than I needed air.
I don't want to hurt you but I can't control the need I have for her.

Help me, please. I don't know what to do.

A lot of things are running on my mind but I couldn't tell Sunghoon any of that. He couldn't handle it. Tears caught in my throat.

He was silent. And then, "Can we talk about this later? I don't have time for this."

"You don't have time for this?" I mocked in a sniveling sing-song.

"What does that mean? You don't have time for me? You don't have time for our marriage?"