𝗗𝗘𝗦𝗜𝗥𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗛𝗘𝗥

𝘋𝘐𝘝𝘖𝘙𝘊𝘌

My mom waltzes into my dad's house like no time has passed. She's kissing my dad like no time has passed, hugging my Minji, hugging Hanni, smiling her toothpaste commercial smile. Her aura makes everyone she encounters light up like Christmas morning.

Mom is the mystery woman my dads been seeing. How did that happen?

To my knowledge, they haven't spoken since Minji and I were young. It's like my universe has flipped upside down on its axis.

Who are these people?
Am I that out of touch with my family? I guess balancing a husband and a girlfriend didn't give me much time to meddle with my families lives but they could've told me.

Just because I don't live here anymore, shouldn't mean I get exiled from family re-connections. I don't know how Prae has remained in my arms.

I feel like I'm having an out of body experience. I'm only vaguely aware of her until she starts to cry because of the lack of attention I'm giving her.

Hanni comes over and rescues her from my arms which I'm also only vaguely aware of.

I am however fully aware of my mom. She's ageless, timeless. Its no wonder she has no concept of time. She still resembles the woman I remember from childhood.

I'm not sure how I feel about that realization. It's bad enough I inherited the cheating gene from her.

I also have her hair and her eyes and her complexion. I even mirror her idiosyncrasies. I held this pent-up regression for my mom for years but looking at her radiance in the flesh I just feel like the ten-year-old she left behind.

All I want is to do is hug her. And I do. Without giving myself permission to. Who am I? I've wanted to yell at her for as long as I can remember but here I am showing how much she bruised my psyche when she left.

She smells like expensive perfume and something unfamiliar. She's dressed in a Chanel wrap dress. I then realized that I also inherited my obsession with shoes from my mother. Like most girls, I emulated my mom. To me, she was flawless and untouchable up until the very moment she left which is why I could never bring myself to speak to her.

Behind my dad, I think she hurt me the most. Minji was impartial. My chest feels like it'll combust when she hugs me back. I think I feel her crying as well. I could hear a pin drop the living room is so quiet. I think everyone is as surprised by my reaction as I am.

When we finally release each other I'm free to let my eyes wander over her features. Looking at her, I can see why my dad never fully recovered from his marriage to my mom. A face like hers seems like it would be hard to move on from.

I guess that explains my lack of fight. She's so angelic in appearance I would never have guessed a face like hers could shit on a marriage and her children and walk away with her side piece.

Wow.

I guess I am my mother's daughter.
My stomach hurts. I excuse myself by making my way to the bathroom. My stomach is in knots making me feel like yacking.

Someone taps on the bathroom door but I'm too nauseous to speak. When
I hear the door creak I know whoever knocked had let themselves in. Her heels clack against flooring confirm that it's her.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

I know I'm being dramatic and turning this into the Pharita show but everyone else seems to have adjusted to the idea of her being here while I've been clueless and out of the loop.

I've never been less okay, but I nod.She crouches down beside me a difficult feat in her shoes, but she makes it look easy.

She seems to make everything look easy leaving dad, leaving me, and then returning. Leaving bombs in her wake and leaving us to recover from the debris on our own.