accede

chapter- 17 : milkshake

I don't know if it's a TW but there is mention of death but if you don't want to read it just start reading from where ● is.

Tejal's Pov  (Monday morning)

I'm tired.

Listening to Raphaela made me realize that this isn't my home.

I don't think I have done anything to 'make everything about me' .

Ushmil and her family decided to stay for a day and went back in the evening of Sunday.

It's Monday, no football practice today.

I don't want to get out of bed, I don't have the energy to even though I slept for  nine hours.

I don't want to do anything, I don't feel like doing anything.
I just want to sleep and never get up.

I have watched few episodes of 'Bungou Stray Dogs' .
Watching 'Dazai' makes me think that suicide can be fun , not just gloomy and sad. Though I don't know his backstory or anything since I have watched a few  episodes, but hey, dying can be fun .

There is a knock on the door, I ignored it . I don't want to get up.

Lorenzo walked in after knocking two more times. I just stare at him, watching his every move wondering why he is here and when he'll go.

He smiled looking at me, "good morning Tejal " He said cheerfully

I don't reply, I don't feel like talking.

He pulled my blanket off of me and say,
"Get up, you have school. "

I don't want to go, but I also want to meet Ushmil.
So I get ready and go downstairs for breakfast.

I look at the people sitting, Xander, Xavier, father, uncle, Dario, Alvize, then my eyes see my twin, Raphaela.

As I see her I turn around to leave , don't want any drama or uncomfortable conversations so early in the morning.

"Tejal, come sit down and eat." Uncle said.

Wow, you just had to do that.

I sat ate some fruits and we leave for school.

....

Ushmil and I were sitting on the second last bench near the window.
It was a free period since our teacher is on a leave today.

We both sat in a comfortable silence
"What is the most painless and easiest way of dying?" I ask abruptly

She looked at me and said, " falling down a cliff or something, you'll get a nice view of the sky while falling. "

"You won't, you'll be rotating full 360 degree while falling, and what about the impact that will hurt. And there will still be a possibility you will survive. " I say

After thinking for a few seconds I say,
"Maybe OD on sleeping pills . You'll be sleeping and die sleeping, maybe you'll dream a nice dream and die."

"No, I don't think so. You'll have issues moving or talking, you'll get hallucinations, foam will come out of the mouth. And if you survived you'll have permanent damge on some parts of body ." She said

We both are quiet for a few seconds and I ask, " How do you know about that?"

Ushmil looked at me as said, " I have searched it before. "

"Why were you searching about that?" I asked in confusion

She shrugged and said, "fun"

"You depressed ass mother**cker, why were you searching that?fun???fun really? Didn't know you were suicidal. Who the hell am I supposed to hang out with if you go kill yourself?" I whisper shout .