Before we start, I would just like to say that Techno may be in some or more of the quotes in the following text. I mean no disrespect to him or to the people who cared about him, but he will be in a few quotes. Now onto the Quotes!
Kristen: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts?
Techno: If a crocodile eats your dad, they become your new dad.
Techno: What's up? I'm back.
Philza: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead
Techno: Death is a social construct.
Philza, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the crows.
Kristen: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Crows.
Philza: *Turns on the kitchen light*
Wilbur: *Sitting at the table, eating bread*
Philza: It's four in the morning.
Wilbur: Turn the light back off.
Wilbur: Is that a gun?!
Techno: It's not what it looks like!
Wilbur: It looks like a gun!
Techno: Okay, maybe it is what it looks like, but in my defense, it doesn't have anymore bullets, so I technically can't shoot it anymore.
Wilbur: ...ANYMORE?!
Tommy: Welcome to Fucking Applebees, do you want apples or bees?
Philza: Bees?
Tommy: HE HAS SELECTED THE BEES!
Philza: Wait-
*Wilbur approaches, shaking a jar of bees menacingly*
Tommy: *Kicks the door open, looking panicked*
Philza: What did you do?!
Tommy: NOBODY DIED!
Philza: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!
Techno: How do you connect with a fictional character?
Wilbur: What?
Kristen: What?
Tommy: What?
Philza: What?
The Author: *appears out of nowhere and pulls up a 500 slide presentation* I'm glad you asked.
Wilbur: Why is there blood everywhere?
Techno: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Wilbur: You stabbed someone?!
Techno: No, no. I aggressively poked someone with a knife.
Wilbur: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?
Kristen: *sighing* Tommy.
Tommy: Fuck shit up out there, but don't die.
Philza: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.
*Everyone is playing a board game together*
Tommy: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.
Philza: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.
Techno: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.
Kristen: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.
Techno: *flips the board*
Philza: Okay, Kristen, you were right! I was... Less right!
Tommy: Philza, I screwed up, big time.
Philza: Tommy, given your daily life experiences, you're gonna have to be more specific.
Tommy: What if people had food names and food had people names?
Wilbur: Hey, spaghetti, we're having Tommy for dinner.
Philza: What is wrong with you people?
Kristen: Politely shut up, dear chocolate.
Wilbur: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
Tommy: What does "take out" mean?
Wilbur: Food.
Philza: Dating.
Techno: Murder.
Kristen: It can be all three if you're brave enough.
Wilbur: I'm totally useless.
Kristen: You're not totally useless.
Kristen: You can be used as a bad example.
*Kristen is casually searching around the room*
Wilbur: Hey Kristen, what're you looking for?
Kristen: My will to live.
*Philza walks into the room*
Kristen: Oh, there it is.
Kristen: God is no longer with us. I'll take over.
Tommy: Five little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and...
Techno: Was diagnosed with mesothelioma.
Tommy:: Mamma called the doctor and the doctor said...
Wilbur: You might be entitled to financial compensation if he or a loved one dies.
Philza: Tommy, no.
Tommy: Tommy, yes.
Wilbur, watching Philza and Tommy fight: Are you sure they should be fighting? What if they get hurt?
Techno, not bothered by the chaos: It's fine. They're too evenly matched to hurt each other.
Wilbur: Then... who's the strongest out of you three?
Philza: Techno.
Tommy: Techno.
Techno: Me.
*The Squad's cooking skills*
Kristen: *master chef*
Wilbur: *knows a few recipes*
Philza: *can follow instructions on a box*
Techno: *made toast once*
Tommy: *banned from the kitchen*
Tommy: BWWAAAAAAAAAA! Oh, you hear that? That's the wrong opinion alarm.
Wilbur: That is not something you actually have installed.
Tommy: Sorry, say again? I couldn't hear you over my alarm that YOU SET OFF with your WRONG-ASS OPINION.
Kristen: I am going to need you to swear-
Philza: Fuck.
Kristen:
Kristen: ...swear as in promise.
Kristen: I'm a witch. I mixed some herbs and crystals together and now my cat knows the f-word.
*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Kristen: You're acting pretty carefree for someone who's life's at stake. Who's to say you aren't the killer?
Tommy: It's a murder, not a tax audit. I'll be fine.
Philza: What about Techno? Nobody ever suspects Techno!
Techno: Well what about Wilbur? They have a gun!
Wilbur: Kristen has a knife.
Kristen: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Philza in the arm by accident*
Philza: Are we fighting or flirting?
Kristen: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck-
Philza: Your point?
Wilbur: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in.
Wilbur: So I've decided to break the fourth wall.
Wilbur: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.
Wilbur: For self defense reasons, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar and you guys have to act wisely.
Kristen, Philza, & Techno: Okay.
Wilbur: If you don't want to die, give me all your money.
Kristen: Bold of you to assume I have money.
Philza: Bold of you to assume I don't want to die.
Techno: Bold of you to assume I can die.
(rip, Technoblade. He will forever live through our hearts.)
Sorry it was short. That's all for now.
- The Author
YOU ARE READING
Incorrect Quotes
FanfictionThis is basically just a big Incorrect Quotes book about the fandoms @MultiFandomFox (or me) is in. it will probably be mostly MCYT, tbh... but I hope you enjoy! It may hold quite a bit of my AU's, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. &l...
