Hopelessly Romantic

Part 24

The drive to dinner isn't smooth; it's never smooth on a bus. And maybe you overthink the bus ride, think it's the result of your soon-to-be date and not that it's literally cold as fuck here. Maybe you don't let Annie comfort you for the first time in ever, and instead you just give a breathy chuckle while avoiding her touch, and maybe you pathetically wait for Mikasa to text you, only to see nothing right as you reach your destination. "Fuck it's cold," Annie hisses, looking back at you. Your eyes pull away from your phone as you hear the bus slowly leave. As your night finally begins. "Yeah, I think you read my mind." She hums, hands digging into the pockets of her coat. You're glad you wore some tights. "Alright, at least the restaurant will be warm." You hum back, not getting closer to her even though she's so fucking warm- "Are you okay?" You blink away from your phone again. There's still no text, and just like you've always been, Annie's ahead of you while you're stuck where she was "Um, yeah, sorry, just thought Mikasa was going to text, but not yet." You chuckle, just like you did on the bus, stuffing your phone into your coat pocket before reaching Annie, still distant. "Let's get some food." If she wants to comment on your appearance, your distance, she doesn't, she plays along just like you've always wanted her to. "Of course, food is on your mind-"

The restaurant is something from a movie. Booths on both sides of the facility, though one side only has one row, the rest is filled with a counter and stools attached to the ground. The entire establishment is decorated in light blue with dark red and shiny brown or silver accents. It's a place that makes you smile. You're finally exploring somewhere new after being in somewhere new for so long. Well, as long as these school months can be. "Hitch just texted-" Annie looks down at her phone, screen lit with her message. You don't like that your eyes greedily drink in the bland name Annie has for her not-so-girlfriend girlfriend, but the feeling still happens, and you're still greedy for her attention. Then you realize Hitch has texted Annie while Mikasa hasn't bothered to text you. You inhale, trying to shove down the feeling. It works, and then it doesn't when you notice Mikasa is dressed in a red dress, something that goes with Hitch's blue one. You realize, when she said you wouldn't be a couple tonight, she meant that literally. "Over here!" Hitch is more than you, in every way.

Her skin is flawless, her hair is pretty in a way yours will never be, her dress compliments her already flawless body, and her personality is the one you've been chasing after yet have never achieved. Annie deserves her, Annie deserves every bit of good that woman can give her that you'll never be able to give. Mikasa does to, but she's with you. "N/n, you look so cute!" Your gaze goes from the floor to Hitch, and you can't smile as much as you want to. You know it doesn't reach your eyes, you know it'll affect everyone's mood even though you don't want it to, but you can't help it. For once, after trying so hard to be better, to be selfish the way you're supposed to be, you can't do it. Oddly you want to shove yourself into a house you've never felt safe in, get yelled at by a person who shouldn't've had you, just so this version of helplessness can go away. You want to be a child again even if it means you're stuck somewhere you tried to escape as a child. "Th-thank you. You both look beautiful too." She inhales, eyes going up and down your form, your face before she nods, eyes going to Annie and doing something you've never seen.

She seems to stop breathing, to hold her breath because of Annie's beauty, because Annie is always beautiful to her in a way you're just starting to realize. Instead of lingering on your feelings for Annie, you take off your coat, eyes finding your ravenette's. The red dress compliments her pale skin, same with the red lipstick on her usually pink lips. She's wearing something that you think Hitch would wear, which makes sense because they got ready together, but to a stranger looking in, it looks like Hitch is dating Mikasa and you're dating Annie, and you can't stop that hopefulness that blossoms in your heart because of it. Even though you just realized you might hold more feelings for Annie than you've ever known, the unresolved fight with Mikasa makes a fake fantasy play in your head, like you've always felt that way for her. You're staring into Mikasa's eyes, and before you convince yourself she's already found out about your feelings for Annie, you sit down with your coat on the back of your booth. "How was the drive here?" There's a stranger's distance between you and Mikasa, and it should hurt more than it does, the yearning you have for your ravenette omnipresent, but it doesn't. Mikasa wants this, she wants distance, she doesn't want you to be her girlfriend tonight. And you're petty, so the distance, you wait for her to put an end to so you know that she wants something... more with you.