Hopelessly Romantic

Part 29

It's now the end of winter break, well, the day before the end of winter break, and what you've forgotten has finally showed up. "So, you told him you took a test?" Your brows are furrowed, face scrunched in concern and, mainly, confusion. The blonde nods, bringing his fruit punch to his lips. "Yup, it said I was gay and sent him a screen shot-" "I'm sorry, how is that how you come out to your crush-" You laugh, a genuine smile on your lips as you witness Reiner in true happiness. You ran into him at the cafe where you first had lunch with him. Well, him and Annie and Hitch and his soon-to-be-boyfriend. "Listen, it was creative and after talking to him in person -he came running from his class- I got to come out fully. He had no idea too-" "No idea?" "None." He sips from his beverage, watching your confused face shake, an inhale entering your nostrils. "You two were meant for each other." He pauses, digesting your words and letting the red punch rest against his lips. "You mean that?" His question is quiet, genuine as his eyes don't leave yours, stay on you for confirmation. You nod with a slight smile, a bit more than you're now used to giving. Maybe you just needed a break from college; maybe you just needed to have fights with people you love, care for. "Of course, you two are. Honestly, I don't think anyone in the world has love as pure as yours."

He smiles, looking down at the table you two sit at -inside the cafe because it's cold- and takes a moment to let your words settle in the atmosphere. His lips open once you take a bite of your sugar cookie. "I think I'm ready to ask him out. I mean, I've been pursuing him for two-and-a-half-months now. That's enough time, right? I've done like everything you told me to and read everything that I've read in the library about love and even the romance genre which was terrible-" "Oh, you so need to read Highly Suspicious and Unfairly Cute; will raise your romance standards-" "Y/n!" A smile licks your lips because you're more than pleased with watching your friend fall in love completely, without a true knowledge of how much Bertolt likes him. "Okay, I'm sorry, Reiner, it's just cute seeing you this way-" "I am not cute-" "Um, yes you are. You're a cute grizzly bear- Speaking of which, shave your fake beard, dude-" "Y/n, Bertolt ." You laugh, a smile that's been the widest it's ever been in weeks sticking to your lips. Maybe you don't need Mikasa to be okay- maybe she's close to dropping you like you predicted. "Yes, yes, your lover-" "Soon-to-be-" "There you go!" Reiner lets his own smile stick to his lips, sharing just how much you both are soulmates for each other. You wish you were more social as a teen. You wish you didn't let your grandmother raise you.

"Okay, but seriously, Reiner, you're doing well- More than well. I don't think the English language has a word for how well you are, but you're doing it..." Your fingers tug at the parchment the cookie is wrapped in, admiration swarming around you as you confess, "He'd be dumb not to go out with you. I mean, it doesn't matter how you confess, maybe add how you were sorry it took this long, but Gods Reiner-" You're happy for him, so genuinely happy that Reiner doesn't think there's ever been more of a platonic soulmate for him. "If you feel like you should confess, do it. If you feel like you want to barf when doing it, just blurt out our words before doing so. And if you feel like giving me money for coursing you in love, then-" "Y/n!" You smile, watching his cheeks flush dusty red against his cheeks and ears. Just like his personality, it's unexpected and sporadic. It's perfect, in a way. "Seriously though..." You hum, taking another piece of your cookie off "Thank you." You mouth is left open for a while, eyes flickering between his that seem too sincere to be real. Blinking, you feel pressure build up over your pupils, blinking back the gloss to your gaze as Reiner's face changes to concerned quicker than expected. "Hey, are you-" "Yeah, yeah, I just-" You take a deep breath that shouldn't be held and hold it until you can let it out and give him what he wants, an answer. "I've never really liked being thanked or stuff, y'know... I've always kind of thought I was a burden, and especially after being burnt out for weeks on end-" "Hey, it's not your fault that you're like that, okay?"

The look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, and the home of his hand gripping yours is enough for you to nod, and finally get some closure from your behavior. "Listen, I was raised in a pretty okay family, but sometimes I treated them like they controlled all life on Earth, and because of that, I know what it feels like to be a burden to people who are so high in your mind. I know that everything you do must feel like a burden, breathing, eating, sitting beside them, or asking for space or company- Even cooking for them feels like a burden because I do the dishes after I've eaten, and by the time I try someone's already offering and I feel like a humongous failure for some fucked up reason-" He takes a deep breath, shaking his head. "But that's not true. And I know you're sympathetic enough to know that if you were the one being served, you'd need to do the dishes afterward... Honestly, it's just a big miscommunication with your brain, body, and the outside world... At least, that's about what Bertolt said to me when I complained about being a burden by just existing..."

"So, if it gives you any help, just listen to others and let their actions speak for themself, not words. If they keep hanging out with you without sighing or complaining, then maybe they just want... you." Your lips part, and on your mind is only Annie. Her smiles that you haven't really seen, been the cause of her eyes which are always crystal like and ethereal, and her presence which you just soak up like a dry sponge- She does it too, you think, and before you even know what happens it spills from your lips, "Annie likes me too..." Reiner's eyes widen, his hold on your hand pausing momentarily, lessening. You want to be shocked by how much physical touch affects you, but you aren't, can never be with how much she's always given you, how much she's always offered. So, when you're pulled back into reality by Reiner's touch lessening, it isn't as shocking as you want it to be, your hand retracting only for a second before Reiner's eyes find yours. "You like her?" The question is accusatory, his voice surprised, almost unbelieving as he asks you. Yoru lips part, and with a shrug of your shoulders and shake of your head you answer, "I think..." Your eyes don't find his when you correct yourself, continue on as if she's the sun and stars, "I do- I- I do actually, yeah-" "But you aren't dating-" "No." Your eyes find his. "She's single, and I would've been two months ago... I would've... We could've if-" "It's not your fault that people and relationships grow, it's a part of human nature-" "But what do I do with it, just let the feelings mold, rot inside of me or- or do I bring them up to Mikasa and Annie and- and do I confess-"

"I don't know." His words are somehow loud, so loud your entire world shakes, your mind no longer clouded with Mikasa but the what ifs with Annie, and unbeknownst to you, near your table with his fresh cup of hot chocolate and another for his friend on the phone does that woman find out.

"Are you listening, Armin? I need to tell you another outdoor date idea I had."