Facade - Jacob Elordi

twenty-nine

Charlotte Hart

The sun peered through the blinds, making my eyelids flutter open to see the rays softly bouncing into the room. I saw the small dust particles catching the light as I stretched my body. I rolled over, reaching my arm out to stretch across the bed. The space beside me was cool and empty, still smelling of Jacob's musk. I buried my head into the pillow, taking a deep breath, my nose brushing a small sticky note stuck to the cover. I waited a while to read it, basking in the sultry scent lingering on the linens.

I remember being so nervous about asking Jacob to stay last night. There was a rollercoaster of emotions in the last 24 hours between us, I didn't know where we stood. I never really know where we stand, but yesterday was different. I woke up the happiest I've been in a while only to be shot down as soon as I opened my eyes. First, it was Wes lecturing me, and then Jacob went full throttle to close the deal. I was distraught like the rug had been ripped right from under me. Then, I broke down. It was all so much in so little time. Jacob tried to patch the hole after seeing me a mess, but it only made things harder. After they met Harry, the whole tone changed. Wesley cooked a great dinner and Jacob was in a decent mood, especially with me. It was like the hurricane of a morning passed and the sun decided to show up.

It was the second time we slept together, and the first time we had been in such close proximity without expecting anything from one another. I could tell he was holding back, maybe for my sake, but most likely his. If he wanted me, he could have had me last night. The kisses we shared were full of emotion and hunger. We yearned for each other in ways we hadn't before. For me, it was similar to the night I asked him to kiss me outside the hotel. Only this time it was stronger. I had just shared a part of me with him and he didn't run away or think I was being dramatic. Jacob accepted how I was without a doubt.

I've briefly mentioned the death of my parents to Lana and Brandon. They don't know when or how they passed, but they didn't question me about it. It came up one year during the holidays. They asked when I was leaving and I had to tell them I wasn't. I was invited by both of them to spend any holiday I'd like at their family's houses, but it just didn't feel right. Sometimes I'll drive to my parent's house, still not having it fixed up and just sit on our old couch. The lights and water don't work, so I don't stay long, but long enough to reminisce on the times they were warm and present. Sometimes it's easier to tell someone you barely know about your life story. There are no expectations and it's simply just a tale of old times. Jacob has a way of getting things out of me, and it felt like a weight off my chest knowing I wasn't the only one who knew about my past. I wish he felt the same.

I finally ripped off the note sitting on the pillow after my morning reflection.

You talk a lot in your sleep. And next time you elbow me in the face, we're going to have some serious problems ;)
J.E

Next time.

I shook my head, trying to get the giddy part of me to calm down while I realized he caught me talking and basically harassing him in my sleep. How embarrassing is that? What did I say? I threw my head back on the pillow with a sigh, turning it into a slight chuckle at how innocent the note was. I slipped the note into my journal and stretched off the bed. My cheeks felt hot as I undressed and threw on a towel to go shower. I assume he's out in the living room as usual, typing away at that damn keyboard. As I opened the door, I heard some music playing from the hallway.

I didn't waste any time before rushing to the bathroom, not wanting anyone to see me vulnerable. I had just woken up, my teeth weren't brushed and my hair was a mess. They've seen me worse, but if I have a say in it, I'd rather be somewhat presentable. Maybe today I'll try and put myself together. After all, I've been wearing zero makeup in comfortable clothes since New York. And maybe I have a little pep in my step because of Jacob, but nobody has to know. That's my secret I choose not to tell.