Toxic | Hyunlix

XIII.

-"Here you go, princess." He smiled and gave me the tea.
-"Thank you so much." I smiled.
-"Do you want me to play the show?"
-"Oh, yes please." I smiled since I was holding the tea with both of my hands. He took the controller and played it.
-"Everyone complimented me after the show and I decided to see what exactly I did since they tell me I did so good."
-"Unfortunately I wasn't there princess. My shift in the restaurant was so late and I couldn't make it. I'm sorry."
-"You weren't there? It's okay, don't apologise, besides I knew you had work."
-"Yeah. Also I don't need to see if you were good, I just know you were." He smiled.
-"We're gonna see now"
-"I don't need to see.. I know you were.. just by looking at you, I could tell that you did a great job"
I laughed -"Thank you."
-"You're welcome, princess."
I could imagine what Hyunjin would do out of jealousy if he hears what is Louis saying to me.
***
When my parts came in I saw my every step and I realised how good I actually looked like. I did felt focused when I was there but I really didn't expect to look this professional. Once again I really got proud of myself and I was so happy about that.
-"Wow. Look at you.." Louis said while watching me walk. -"They were right when they said you were so good."
-"I actually didn't expect that." I said surprised. -"I haven't thought I looked this professional."
-"You should be more confident. Because you must be. Your looks are.. quite mesmerising" Louis looked at me and I saw his gaze. Honestly tonight I've had enough, today was one of the most stressful days I've ever had and this phone call did it all. I never expected that and I still cannot believe what just happened now, but all I knew is that I needed something to wipe this stress off, and make me feel relaxed. We couldn't make it to watch the show with Louis. I ended up in his bedroom where he gave his best to make me feel more comfortable. That's what I liked in him. I knew that he wanted this so badly but he also didn't wanna rush and he wanted me to be comfortable. Something "my devil" would never do.
Louis petted my hair while making me feel pleasured and kept looking at me straight in the eyes. He continued saying to me "you're so beautiful". I just closed my eyes and imagined somebody else doing this and saying this to me this. I couldn't make that progress so much, because it was nothing like I make it in my head. Louis kept touching my body with gentle touches that felt like he didn't wanna even touch me at all.
-"Felix... it's so hard for me to even touch you, you're like a doll, it's insane." He mentioned with heavy breathing.
-"It's okay.. you're good, don't worry." We talked really quietly it's like somebody else is here. I can't believe how comfortable Louis made me. It's like it wasn't my first time with him, I had no side feelings, I haven't done that in so, so long, so it felt so good that he's doing that to me right now.
-"Felix... I need to tell you.."
He whispered to my ear while laying down on my chest.
-"What is it?" I spoke quietly rubbing his neck gently and looking up the sealing, filled with thoughts once again.
-"Felix... I fell in love with you ever since I saw you. When I came to you to ask if you have water that day and you opened, I don't know if it was obvious or not but I was mesmerised by your beauty, when I got home i couldn't stop thinking about you." He said while hugging me.
-"Really?" I said trying to sound as surprised as possible.
-"Yes, princess.." He started kissing me. The kiss was super slow and passionate, I saw Louis getting more excited by every second of it. I won't lie it felt magical, wrong person, but magical. I did not let Louis know what I could do. I would never let him know. Hyunjin made me the dirtiest creature and I could never show this side to anyone else but Hyunjin himself. The multiple nights I've spent with him were out of this world. I remember once I could've died because he choked me to death and I didn't wanna move because I liked it. We were just sinners, but I definitely included love to our story too, which Hyunjin did not. The way he expressed his "love" towards me was not love for most of the people. And I knew I was enough freaky to fall for that. Everything about us is so toxic. But I was super stupid and naive and I thought this was what "love" meant. I knew I was right with all the things I said to Hyunjin tonight, but God, when I heard his voice for the first time after all these years I felt the weakest person in the world. Nobody could me feel how he does. I knew that. I could never love somebody else after him I knew that also. He ruined my life but I keep loving him like he did the best for me. We were together for too long. He knows me from head to toe, my every action, what I'm gonna say, what I'm gonna see, do, feel, make, everything. He knows every single inch of me, and I do expect that for him. I know that wherever he is right now he thinks exactly the same. Our words towards each other may not fit perfectly, but our thoughts always connect, every time.
-"Louis.." I whispered as my thoughts stopped swirling and I looked at him.
-"Yes, princess?"
-"I need to drink."
-"Drink?" He asked surprised
-"I mean.. alcohol?"
-"Ohh, uh yeah sometimes I drink, what do you want I have wine, vodka, whiskey?" He stood up and dressed up.
-"Whiskey. But I need a lot. Please do that for me."
-"Why? What happened, you don't need to drink too much princess."
***
I got dressed when Louis got out the room and we went to the fire place again. Louis went and took the whiskey and poured me in a not really small cup.
-"Thank you so much."
-"You're welcome princess, what would you like with it?"
-"I don't drink with anything, no."
-"What? Seriously?"
-"Yeah, why?"
-"Nothing, it's just.. I thought it's gonna be too bitter for you to drink it like that."
-"I got used to it." I took the cup and started drinking as my face was super still, the warm feeling when the alcohol enters my body makes me wanna cry. I starred at the fire place, not blinking at all, I felt my face weak and rested, it's like I haven't slept in days, which was almost right.
Louis saw me and I knew he thought something was off with me.
***
-"Felix.. are you okay?" He asked quietly.
I shook my head and smiled a little, while a tear dropped down my face. -"Nope.."
Louis saw me and immediately sat beside me.
-"Princess? What happened? Why are you crying, is something wrong..?" He asked quietly once again rubbing my back gently.
-"Everything is wrong, Louis.." I said as my tears kept falling without me realising. I kept starring in the fire place as I held the cup and drank often of it.
-"Why.. tell me you can trust me. I promise you can trust me Felix."
I took a deep breath and wiped my tears away, drinking the last sip and put it down to pour more.
-"Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you somehow.. please tell me." He said sounding really worried.
-"No.. absolutely not, it's nothing.. about you. It's just my.. stuff" I said while drinking again.
-"You know I'm by your side. I know we don't know each other enough yet, but you can trust me.. definitely. Tell me what's hurting you, if you keep it in, it's gonna hurt more. Express your feelings, it's okay."
The way Louis was talking to me calmed me down to be honest. He's amazing, honestly I don't deserve him in my life right now. I am looking for something messy while he's here being nice and kind to me, like a man must be, but of course it's not enough for me. I just got used to be treated wrongly and like it.

Sorry for not uploading for a while, this isn't the end😉there are a lot more things to happen, that would honestly blow your mind. Stay tuned!