Toxic | Hyunlix

V.

-"Don't whisper, say it again, I want you to speak louder. Say you would die for me Felix."
-"Hyunjin you are hurting me..."
-"Don't mumble... come on"...
~"Come on, Felix!" -"Hello?" I felt Georgina pushing me.
-"Come on, wake up that woman called you one thousand times."
-"Shut up" I turned into the other side when i realised Georgina was speaking about miss Johnson and I remembered she told me to meet today. I stood up trying to be quick but my head felt like it's gonna explode in a minute.
-"Why did you sleep outside are you crazy? It's literally winter" Georgina kept talking. I quickly went to the bathroom and threw up. This night fucked my life for the whole week. I missed my meeting with miss Johnson, I forgot taking care of myself for the show, I fucked my sleeping schedule just for a night.
-"You're getting crazy. You're getting crazy" I sighed and looked myself in the mirror and started crying again. I continued washing my face aggressively trying to wash off these thoughts. It was all just a dream. I'm snapping off reality. He will finish me. How good it would be if I just forget about him. I got dressed and Georgina went back to her house after I left to go to the atelier. I felt more relaxed and fresher when the Paris wind blew me in the morning. For a moment I felt like nothing of this has happened and I kept living like the other day, this night totally made things worse, and I think I can't focus on my runway like I did before.
I took a deep breath trying to not remember any of this and go back to normal.
-"Bonjour, miss"
-"Oh, don't bonjour me, I'm literally gonna kill you!" miss Johnson pinched my nose just like Georgina does. -"Where have you been?"
-"Miss, I have explanation."
-"I am listening." We sat on the couch.
-"You know yesterday, I had time to do anything for the whole day."
-"Yes."
-"And I went out with a friend. She begged me to go for a drink that night but I rejected that at first. Then as she kept begging me, I realised that I wouldn't have a day like this soon and this is our only chance for now to do what she wanted, because she was gonna be so happy about it. We went on a club but we got... a little bit too drunk and she woke me up a lot later than you called. I apologise so much."
-"You, little, fox! I'm gonna rip off your ears next time! No more things like this okay?"
I nodded. -"I promise miss" I smiled.
-"Have you eaten anything?"
-"Oh.. no I just got ready real quick and came straight here."
Miss Johnson clapped gently twice.
-"Olivia!" -"Yes, miss?"
-"What would you like, Felix?" miss Johnson asked me.
-"Oh, you wouldn't have to-"
-"Come on, come on" she said.
I sighed and smiled.
-"Maybe a sandwich or croissant, whatever you make."
-"Something for drink?"
-"An espresso, please"
***
-"Today we're gonna discuss, when and where exactly will be the runway show"
I nodded. -"Right, miss"
-"Do you remember last year, where was the Givenchy show?"
-"The Givenchy? Um.. wasn't it.. in the Louvre?"
-"Exactly, so you're gonna be there as well. The show starts around eight pm, but of course you have to be there three hours before that."
I nodded.
-"Also, I got information that, the show isn't gonna be with people only from France but also from other countries like Germany, Spain, America and others."
I almost choked when she said America.
I put the coffee in the little cup holder again.
-"Are you okay sweetheart?"
-"Yeahh it's just.. hot and I kinda got burnt"
-"Olivia" she called -"Bring some water, please."
-"No, no that's okay, I'm okay, thank you."
-"Why are you acting like we met yesterday. Remember I am like your second mother sweetie. You should relax more."
I nodded. She was right. The girl bring me water and I honestly needed it. I can't deal with it. I connect everything with him. Why am I like this, what's wrong with me, God... should I go to a therapist or? What should I do, he's on my damn mind all this time. He probably forgot about me and has a family now. He's not how I remember him and I should get myself together soon. He's probably somewhere else, like in the end of the world somewhere.
-"You feel better?" She asked me with a smile.
-"Yeah, absolutely thank you so much." I smiled back.
-"As I was saying..." we continued discussing about the show.
***
Today I had a photoshoot for a brand called Jones New York. It's a French brand and they texted me a week ago for a photoshoot with some of their clothes. The photoshoot is in three hours and I left the atelier just now. I decided I wanna go somewhere alone. I wanted to spend some time alone and gather my thoughts. Recently I spend too much time with people and maybe that's what's stressing me. If I spend more time alone I would decide what exactly I want and how to feel. I took the first taxi I saw in front of the atelier and I told the uber driver to take me to the gallery.